“You Stupid Son of a Bitch!” roared from the lectern, the President pointing his index finger aiming at Chainsaw Chicken. Chainsaw froze in position instead of leaving the press briefing. He slowly turned to face the President seeing who he was speaking to. Biden’s finger remained twitching at him. “Me?? Me, Mr. President?” Chainsaw meekly […]
10 car pile-up
Last week, I was driving along on the Pasadena freeway. I took the exit at Pico Boulevard and was moving well with traffic. I had my tunes playing and I was in the groove. All of a sudden the station played some Bobby Goldsboro song and I just had to change the dial. I reached […]
Am I now Poly?
I am now in a Polyamory relationship. I know. I am so lucky! What is Polyamory? Well, ‘poly’ is an umbrella term for all forms of ethical, consensual, and loving non-monogamy, and for a false teeth adheasive. And ‘amory’ can be used to refer to a place where troops store their weapons. In this case […]
You are cancelled!
Face book jail. Blackballed from Twitter. Banned from making comments on many big-time blogs and discussion sites. Shunned by media. Ignored by Hollywood. Castigated by friends and family. These are all elements of being cancelled by the woke folk! The city paper took this picture of how the locals treat me when I venture out, […]
Mensa Membership
It’s all but official. Soon I can add my upcoming Mensa membership to my resume of achievements. What is Mensa? Mensa is an organization that is made up with members that have an I.Q. at a minimum of 98 percentile. That means if you were in this 98 % of high I.Q. and could put […]
Shari Lewis & Cacciatore
After Shari Lewis (born Phyllis Naomi Hurwitz) did her guest appearance on the Captain Kangaroo Show, things really started to change. As a ventriloquist and puppeteer, she was making some more appearances on other shows such as Howdy Doody, Car 54-Where Are You?, The Man from U.N.C.L.E., and Love-American Style, talent agents suggested that she […]
New Covid Theory
A new Covid theory has surfaced laying blame for the world-wide pandemic being purposely caused by aliens from outer space. This report, not carried by any of the major news networks, claims that in 2019 an alien space craft landed outside of Wuhan, China. The aliens abducted a resident of the area and kept him […]
Zen Master’s Words
The Zen Master’s words “It is time for us to do what we have been doing… and that time is everyday.” ring more true than ever with the state of the world. These words were profound when they were first chanted by Zen Master ‘Woo Cluck Chicken’ from his peaceful gardens in Compton, California. What […]
Acoustic Genius
So many people know Chainsaw Chicken as a leader of his namesake company as well as a successful historian and editorial blogger. But now, to the surprise to some of his detractors, he is an accomplished acoustic genius. His talent is so vast and accomplished that he developed a special guitar with a second neck […]
Confessions Cover Girl
I can remember as a young pullet, I would walk past the magazine stand in the city and see all those Hollywood gossip magazines, detective magazines and soft ‘Men’s’ magazines full of provocative titles and suggestive photos. An example of this was my favorite one called “Exciting Confessions“. Little did I know that the very […]
You quarantined for me?
You went through quarantine for me? You sat in a windowless room, ate frozen TV dinners, showered 3 times a day, wore gloves and a mask 24 hours a day, used alcohol based scrubs on your hands once an hour – every hour – unless using the rest room, then once before you start and […]
New Mandate to Obey!
“Hello and thank you all for attending this zoom corporate call transmitted world wide to all the Chainsaw Chicken International, Ltd, facilities, branch offices, remote locations and those of you who are working from home” said Chainsaw. “As the CEO and President of Chainsaw Chicken International and having well over 100 employees, we are subject […]
Ombudsman Statement
“Let me introduce myself. My name is Theodor T. Turkey. You can call me Tom,… Tom Turkey. I am the required Ombudsman appointed by the Internet Counsel of Blogging Standards. Yes… We call it I.C.B.S. while some refer to us as I see Bull S*it.” “The typical duties of an ombudsman are to investigate complaints […]
500th Posting
That’s right folks! This is the 500th posting on our site. These 500 postings go all the way back to 2015. Back then, we used to post short captions like you would see on a comics page in the paper but I decided to gravitate to a long format in order to allow more of […]
Mass Baldwin Psychosis
Mass formation psychosis? What is it? Let me put it to you in the form a metaphor. Imagine you are in a theater audience about to enjoy a performance of some magician that is an Alec Baldwin doppelganger. As you sit in the audience, ‘The Great Alec’ began with some simple magic, like ‘rabbit in […]
psycho-anal-ass
My doctor suggested that we try a new style of mental therapy. I believe he said it is something like ‘psycho-anal-ass’. Never heard of it before. Sounds like there will be some very personal discussion. I remember that Alfred Hichcock movie ‘Psycho’. Creepy movie, for sure. But I don’t have my mother sitting in a […]
The Real Billy Jack
Some of you may have heard the name Billy Jack. There may be a few of you that suffered through the series of movies created leveraging the name Billy Jack. But who was Billy Jack? There are some that claim he was a half-breed Navajo and German vagrant, discharged from an elite military unit defending […]
He’s a Quack!
“Good morning… Mr…uhhh… Chicken. What brings you in today?” questioned the ‘on call’ doctor . “Well Doc,” Chainsaw began to speak as he rested on the paper covered exam table. “It’s like this. For the last several days I have been feeling like my gizzard in out of whack. It’s not working as it should.” […]
Lord of the dance
When Irish dancer Michael Flatley once said, “Everyone in the world will tell you, ‘No, it can’t be done.’ Every time I hear that, I know I’m close to success.” “That’s good enough for me” stated Chainsaw Chicken after playing a VHS tape of Lord of the Dance he found at a local garage sale. […]
New Psychic Network
I’m sure you’ve seen the billboards and late night TV commercials for the New Psychic Network. Chainsaw launched a new enterprise this year because of all the unpredictable things happening to everyone. Now, you can give Chainsaw a visit to put those important matters to rest. You can walk away confidently knowing you have all […]