While you were all celebrating the battle between the over-paid, over-medicated, pampered “warriors” playing a sport that the rest of the world plays with a rounded oblong ball… 600 Million of my relatives were butchered to please your craving for an easy piece of tasty meat to dip into your blue cheese dressing. As V. […]
Power Ranger Murderer
Skylar Deleon, of the Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers, was convicted on three counts of first-degree murder. Deleon was convicted of killing Tom Hawks and his wife Jackie after departing on a test run to sell their 55-ft. yacht, the “Well Deserved” (No Kidding). The deaths of the couple came from him tying them to an […]
Learning to French Kiss
Test subject For Lobotomy
After the Francis Farmer story that was so popularized in story and film, exploiting the horrific treatments of her lobotomy (which she never actually had), my friend and cousin, Daffy Chicken, set out to obtain the benefit from this procedure of a sub-orbital ice pick insertion. Since no one uses and ice pick anymore now […]
Chainsaw Paparazzi
One of Chainsaw’s later jobs started out as a ‘stringer’ for the Bumphuque, N.J. town paper and evolved into being a photographer for the county to document traffic fatalities. After weeks of taking photos of the gory, bloody, disgusting traffic deaths, a relatively large star came through town and stopped at the coffee shop Chainsaw […]
O.J. Hires Chainsaw
Remember when was O.J. was found not guilty for the slaughter of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman? Remember how he promised to continue the search for the REAL killer of these two people? Until his arrest in Las Vegas for unrelated charges, the “Juice” searched every PGA certified golf course around the country, but […]
Justin Bieber
Ever notice how the bad boy, ‘leave it to Bieber’, is always shirtless, showing off his mix of ‘tats’? Take a look just above those ladies panties he apparently likes to wear. Yup… It’s Chainsaw Chicken’s registered logo as well as Chainsaw’s likeness in color around his left aureola. My lawyer’s are being assembled and […]
Civil War Reunion
Well, please meet The real Colonel Angus Chicken. This is the real person the skit was based around. He informally used his father’s first name as Anneal. Yes, Anneal Angus, like on TV. We see him here at the 25th reunion of the end of the civil war held in Memphis, TN where remaining officers […]
Carter Finds Tutan Chicken
In November 1922, they found it. Carter had discovered not just an unknown ancient Egyptian tomb, but one that had lain nearly undisturbed for over 3,000 years. What lay within astounded the world. Young Tutankhamun Chicken was an Egyptian pharaoh. Predecessor to the famous Chainsaw Chicken celebrities. 90210 Mushroom Feeder
Everything is Turkey!
Why is everything on the news and in the paper about Turkey? On Thanksgiving and Christmas we eat them and now we talk about them. I just don’t get it! Also… every single headline used is in bad English. Here’s an example: “Turkey Buys Terrorists Oil”. They don’t even try to name them. It should […]
Chainsaw Touchless Wash
With the advent and social popularity of the “bidet” (buh-day) in exclusive and rich accommodations throughout Europe and the U.S., Chainsaw developed an in-facility device that not only acted as a “bidet” but also as a shower. Many entitled Americans had this installed as the next phase in their personal hygiene routine. Upgrades to this […]
Amateurs…
Gilligan will go on
With the coincidental, untimely, as well as unfortunate deaths of the stars of Gilligan’s Island and Grizzly Adams happening only hours apart, it has been announced that both of the show remakes will continue on schedule. It seems the trend in Hollywood of resurrecting old, half-baked and less than popular shows and turning them into […]
Susan Loves Chicken
In an unconfirmed report, Susan Lucci stated that she “loves chicken”. That statement coupled with the paparazzi photo taken of Chainsaw Chicken in the arms of Lucci raises the speculation of their involvement. No comment was given from Helmut Huber, Lucci’s current legal husband or from Ms Chainsaw Chicken when asked about this breaking story. […]
Don’t Bogart my joint
C’mon MAN! That’s malarkey! He’s an admitted and known abuser of herbs and controlled substances, Barry Soetoro, is well known for consuming more than his fair amount of shared substances and potato chips. Yosemite Duffy
My Recurring Nightmare
Hillary Roast
Chainsaw Chicken is seen at a political fund raiser in the 70’s with Bill Clinton and George Bush. Wait…. Political fund raiser? Bush is Republican. Clinton is a Democrat ???? And I think that Nancy Pelosi in the background. Oh, this is a BBQ where they ‘roasted’ Hillary. You smell that? Is something burning? […]
E = M Chicken Squared
Chainsaw Chicken was used by Albert Eisenstein to help fine-tune Al’s theory of relativity. Mighty Team of Huskys
Playing for Future Gov
As an accomplished guitarist, Chainsaw Chicken’s band ‘The Egg Beaters’ was requested to play music for the Mr. Universe preliminaries. He had no idea that he would be entertaining the future Governor of California, Jerry Brown seated in the audience.
Working up a Special Gift
Chainsaw has a list and he’s not gonna bother to check it twice. Hell, he probably won’t look at it at all! Everyone gets the same thing. Unwrapped chocolate looking eggs. Check your fireplace, unless you have a prohibited home where you can not have a fireplace or a hibachi BBQ, because the Climate-estas say that […]