Do you really think they’re too short? I like them! I am proud to represent a group that is less than two percent of the population and make everyone act as those we are the majority. I’m Now on a Stamp
Star Trek Type History
As a youngster, Chainsaw’s father, Chester Rutherford Chicken wanted to join the navy. All he ever thought about was ships and the great sea stories he was told as a child or had read in books. He volunteered for the Pee-Wee Junior Naval Auxiliary Inland Seaman’s Corp at the age of seven. He was issued […]
’62 FFA Q&A With JFK
In 1962, the White House held a greeting for the FFA (Future Farmers of America) winners around the country. Many future popular figures can be seen in this publicity photo. From the left to right you can see my cousin Vinny Chicken, Charles Hardin Holley (known as Buddy), Li’l Jimmie Chicken (in the back), William […]
New Bond Movie Release
Watch for Chainsaw Chicken in the parade scene in the new James Bond movie ‘Spectre’. He even received a close-up. Mrs. Chicken was up for a Bond Girl part but refused to “Loose da featha’s, sweetee”. 007’s DB-5 Is Back
KFC Opens in Saigon
As the new franchise opens, there are protests from the first day. There is no fooling the public about the killing and harvesting of these innocent chickens. “Who did they hurt? What harm did they cause?” asked Ramadan Chicken from the Tibetan Ashram near Saigon. These words were murmured shortly before Ramadan immolated himself in […]
Second Space Walk
In March 1965, at the age of 30, Soviet cosmonaut Alexei Leonov made the first spacewalk in history, beating out rival Chainsaw Chicken on Gemini 4 by almost three months. Chainsaw did, however, release a fertilized egg into space in hopes that some Alien species might find it and realize that there are other life […]
Do Buddhist Eat Chicken?
PRIVATE Erik Lessons
As a young child, Chainsaw Chicken did a home study coarse on Liturgical dance. He had the notion that as an adult he would enter the famous School of Dance in Bakersfield, California, created by Erik Estrada from ‘Chips’ fame. Then it was on to ‘Dancing with the Stars’.
Caitlyn and Chainsaw Play
Now that the public is aware of Caitlyn Jenner and Chainsaw Chicken’s romance, they have been seen together. This time with a ‘twist’. Chainsaw Chicken decided to go out clubbing with Caitlyn in DRAG. As an editor to this site, words escape me…
Funky Chicken and Bongos
Back in 1999, Matthew McConaughey was arrested after police discovered him dancing naked doing the funky chicken and playing bongos in his Austin home with a male friend. Upon searching the home, police discovered that they had been smoking a dried plant substance that later was tested and identified to be buckwheat. Today, Matthew and […]
Where’s Your Curtsy?
Webster says ‘Curtsy … a formal way of greeting an important person in which a woman shows respect by placing one foot slightly behind the other and bending her knees.’ However Mrs. Chainsaw Chicken did not hold this faux pas against the Queen when the Queen failed to preform this gesture. Mr. Chainsaw Chicken found […]
GRILLED Hillary
Today after coverage finished in the Benghazi hearings, Under appointed relief junior, Freshman Junior Congressman, assistant to Rhode Island Reds, the Right Honorable Chainsaw “Ruffles” Chicken extensively ‘grilled’ Hillary Clinton on her stance on Sharia Law coming to the United States.
Caitlyn is His Girl
Word leaked out today that Chainsaw Chicken and Caitlyn Jenner are involved in a “special” connection that has been brooding since her change from Bruce to her current identity. There has been no formal announcement as to the actual disposition of this union. When contacted, there was no reply from the Jenner representatives. The only […]
My Christmas Wish
In this year of 2016, (reflecting now from 2022 – That was the hope), we pray that with the celebration of the birth of the Lord, that our new president will being the country new ways to proper and make our country even greater. I pray that nothing comes our way to upset the resurgence […]
Facebook Had to PAY ME!
How about that! Facebook agreed to pay me! Granted, it was only $15, but still. But my shadow ban continues. My Own Nuc Sub
Just a lit’l bit
During a press conference held two days ago held at in the Malahooie ballroom in Waikiki Hawaii, near the grand pool and indoor jungle corner, Maui Chicken showed just how close he came to winning the annual banana- coconut pie eating contest. He used the same gesture to indicate the height of toilet tissue he […]
Stay Off A My Boots
After six months of basic training, Chainsaw Chicken sailed to Europe on the USS General Randall. For the next 18 months, he served in Company D, 32nd Tank Battalion, 3rd Armor Corps in Friedberg, Germany, along with Elvis Presley, where they both attained the rank of sergeant. Not being forced to kitchen duties for obvious […]
Degrading Society
Chainsaw Chicken hosted a press conference at the 656 Grange Hall. He spoke with many concerned listeners who all shared the highest concern about the degradation of American Society… The poster says it all.
The Mrs’ 1st Husband
I know it may come as a surprise to some but before I was in the picture, Mrs. Chicken was previously married. It’s difficult for me to imagine my beautiful wife coupled with someone else, but the truth is the truth. This relationship was quickly annulled when she complained that they had never consummated their […]
No Eggs In There!
Grandson of Chainsaw Chicken, Ryan (Buck) Chicken has entered the pubescent period of his young life more confused than ever. “No Buck, there are no eggs in there”. New Harvard Chaplain