I really don’t know what to say about this image. Chainsaw Chicken is an upstanding citizen and simply enjoys the company of children. STRANGER DANGER! Get your FAKE chicken!
My New ‘Chick Magnet’
I ordered a Chick Magnet from the ads you see on Facebook. It arrived with a Chinese postmark. It is so strong, I finally had to leave it in the other room just to take a break. Let’s see. Who is number 22? NOW SERVING NUMBER 22!. My work never ends! Bill Clinton has asked […]
Empty My Gizzard
Okay, okay… I know! Not my best picture, but I went to Six Flags and all I came home with was an empty gizzard and this photo. The others in the car came home with a little more. Like that expression, ‘My parents went on vacation and all I got was this shirt’ was changed […]
Texas Chainsaw Massacre
All the movies about “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” were based on actual acts by Chainsaw Chicken. His therapy treatment was successful and the threat to the general population has been greatly reduced now that he is on parole and being forced to participate in chemical treatments. Reeducation Camps Begin
Eddie’s Security
Comedian and first-rate actor Eddie Murphy sits calmly next to Chainsaw Chicken who is like a coiled spring ready to lash out, pretending to be sleeping for 8 to 12 hours a day, luring assailants, then putting himself between Eddie and any unforeseen trouble. Stress is always high because of Mr. Murphy’s ever increasing popularity. […]
Cosmic Chicken Continues
UPDATE: The Cosmic Chicken that terrorized Finland in our previous entry found his way into France. Locals there began rioting and burning structures in the hope of driving out this unwanted prehistoric chicken. He had originally emerged from being thawed by radiation coming from intense exposure to the Aurora Borealis rays. The press has claimed […]
Cosmic Chicken Attacks
The latest news from the arctic region of Finland is not good. The super-magnetism released into our ionosphere multiplying the effect of the latest Aurora Borealis containing a lethal amount of radiation causing this prehistoric chicken to thaw from a glacier. “The process works much the same way as defrosting a chicken from your freezer […]
Toasted G-Strings
Imagine the explanations that will spill from their mouths when they try to explain the hand print burned into their toasted g-strings. It’s the simple things. After all, chickens will be chickens. Grüne Polizei
Make Chickens Great Again
You’ve seen the news. We all have. Chainsaw Chicken was embroiled in an media firestorm of misleading issues and misrepresented motives surrounding this confrontation. The ‘face-off’ was not with Nicolas Cage as this reference would suggest but with a leader of the Turkeyite Tribe, a small native American group, known for their worship of the […]
Cheaper than a seat!
Chainsaw Chicken is a shrewd financial expert. He has always tried not to spend excessively whenever possible. Here is a picture of him traveling by bus to be with family members in the Tucson, AZ area. By checking himself in as baggage rather than buying a seat, he saved enough to purchase soft drinks at […]
‘Eyes Wide Shut’
When Stanley Kubrick was scouting for the occult ritual enjoyed by the rich dedicated sycophants, he and his scouting team where allowed to observe a private rite where the leader of this cult would select compliant and willing members to roam within the mist of the incense and noxious fumes. The list of members attending, […]
New Season of N&A
Watch for the new season of Naked and Afraid starting next Sunday at 8.PM. This seasons opener features Chainsaw Chicken dropped onto a tropical island with Yoko Ono. Watch as they make friends, then clash fiercely and finally smooth out their pairing when Yoko decides she will break her fast with a total poultry diet […]
Easter Island Discovery
After finally obtaining permission from the government of Peru, Bumgardener Chicken started using microwave technology to search Easter Island for more Moai heads carved by the Rapa Nui. Within a few days an entire row of Moai heads where found under the ruins of a past culture. These carvings dated back farther than the typical […]
Cave Drawings Discovered
An international team of anthropologist and learned professionals were summoned to a small cavern near a hill outside the eastern boarder of France. They are there to examine a cave that has been unearthed. Seen in the cryptograms are wild animals of the day, hunted for food. There are other drawings of humans performing daily […]
Mrs. Chicken Sun Tans
Mrs. Chicken works on her tan in preparation to defend her fourth place finish in the Kraft Products, Non-beauty contest mentioned in an earlier entry. Good Luck, Mrs. Chicken! Not Based On Looks
One Win – 22 Losses
Most people do not realize that Chainsaw Chicken was on the varsity basketball team with a young Barack Obama at Punahou High School. This team had the longest loosing record in Hawaii’s high school history. This specific season, the record was 22 losses and one win. This win was because the opposing team, the Hawaii […]
Remember ‘Super Chicken’?
Do you remember the T.V. series from the 1990’s called “Super Chicken”? You are looking at a photo taken from the HBO special ‘Plucked’. Seen here is Chainsaw Chicken in costume for his series that was seen on Sunday’s 8:30 on the WB. Chainsaw Chicken was forced to room with someone from craft services until […]
It’s A Girl! Congrats!
No… Not mine… Really. Well… maybe. Ahhhh… Look at the sweet thing. She has her father’s nose and her mother’s eye’s! She is adorable. Really…! Stunning! That’s what you get for ruining Facebook and making it into a money pit! Look for their MySpace page for more info. You might say I got my revenge. […]
CC Gets his Star!
Chainsaw Chicken was recently honored by the Film Actors Guild (FAG) and awarded a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. “It was such a honor to be selected” he stated at his press meeting. Chainsaw’s star is placed near the front doors of the business’ “Fredrick’s of Hollywood” and the adult video Arcade “The […]
More Russian Collusion
Again, the treat of Russian Collusion has reared its’ ugly head! Chainsaw Chicken has been arrested by the Special Prosecution headed by Robert Mueller. His crime? He willfully and knowingly listed the 1982 movie ‘Red Dawn’ (the original one with Patrick Swayze , not the remake with Thor fighting off a North Korea invasion) as […]