This grainy investigation photo is from 1952. It was published in FATE MAGAZINE which was doing a story about Spontaneous Chicken Combustion. Scientists have often fought over whether spontaneous chicken combustion is real but the evidence for the argument is very compelling. Most of the chickens who died from SCC were either smoking or drinking […]
100% Brain Access
“The testing is complete and the results are in” said CNN’s Anderson Cooper on his evening news program. “Science claims that we can now see 100% of your brain, Mr. Chicken:, he continued. “That’s what they tell me” replied Chainsaw. “It’s all there, not like others that only use 60% of their brains,. I use […]
Listen to me, Kid!
“Shut up and listen!” shouted Mortimer Chickmeier. “Get that cowboy crap out of your head”. “Yeah, but Morti, I mean,… ah, what about ‘Cheyenne’, ‘Sugarfoot’, ‘Maverick’, ‘Wagon Train’, ‘Colt .45’, ‘Wyatt Earp’, ‘Wanted – Dead or Alive’, ‘Bonanza’, ‘The Rifleman’, ‘Laramie’, ‘The Big Valley’, ‘Have Gun will Travel’ and then there’s ‘Gun Smoke’. They’ve been […]
Uber Eats Driver
With all the restrictions about doing this or that BUT you can still order your greasy tacos or that meatball sub by using Uber Eats. And what do you get using this COVID leveraged service? You get a cold meal that has been waiting in the fast food restaurants counter for driver like Chainsaw to […]
Chickenator
In a new move to revitalize the creative ideas in the film industry, rather than simply remaking older successful movies (now days called a reboot), a new treatment is getting attention. Chainsaw Chicken is proposing blending two characters of movie fame. In this case, it is Conan the Barbarian with the Terminator, an indestructible cyborg-assassin. […]
Schedule Changed
OFFICIAL NOTICE: It appears that we will not be able to honor tickets purchased for the next show in the Nevada desert. However, if you are willing to hold on to your reservations, it appears that the next opportunity to attend this explosive show will be after January 20th of 2021. These events appear to […]
Covid in Obamaville
So far, like with everyone, it’s been a year, for sure! First we had the results of the Obama administration with all the unemployment and over taxation causing this delightful town to rename itself from Sunnyville to Obamaville. Then this covid crap has us on our final legs. No businesses here qualified for any Federal […]
Parking Lots Chicken Stand
As you cruise through the Midwest you might see a new item that is popping up. Launching now is Chainsaw Chicken Roadside Shops. That’s right. Showing at Walmart parking lots, Swap meets and the occasional wide spots in the road, you may find Fred Gunar with his grand son Lunar Gunar. They set up and […]
Lethal Chicken Gun
Scientists at NASA built a gun specifically to launch standard 4 pound dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields. British engineers heard about the […]
Your BF’s phone
You just never know… Wait until he’s asleep. Grab his phone, hold it up to his face to unlock the bio-metric lock and take a gander. You won’t believe your eye’s. He’s been feathering text messages all over town. You are so trusting, so honest, so faithful. How could this be? That long lunch with […]
New Chicken Little
Project Bluebook ’61
Date: Sept. 17, 1961 Location: Van Dyke Turnpike area, Troy, OH Incident Report: Rooster child named Chainsaw Chicken, age 5, was reported to be missing for 4 hours on this date. When finally discovered, he had no explanation at all as to where he had been except to say he saw a ‘bright light’ and […]
New Avatar Movies
The filming is continuing on the three sequel movies from the blockbuster original “Avatar“. Chainsaw Chicken has been selected to replaced Sam Worthington to help hold down the $Billions of dollars being spent on primary cast members. “Chainsaw Chicken works for ‘chicken feed’ compared to “Sammy” boast James Cameron. He continued…”I mean, a buck is […]
Big Chicken before…
First it was Big Chicken before Big Bird. Big Chicken was an original character on the children’s television show, Sesame Street. Officially performed by Chainsaw Chicken since 1969. He is an 6-foot two-inch tall, bright primrose-yellow chicken that children were fascinated by. He can roller skate, ice skate, dance, sing, write poetry, draw, and even […]
Mothman Photographed
Mothman is a humanoid moth-like creature reportedly seen in the Point Pleasant area of West Virginia, November 15, 1966 and has not resurfaced for years until recently. Chainsaw Chicken has submitted this photo claiming it is Mothman taken two days ago in the Pt. Pleasant’s legendary T.N.T storage area. He was even able to record […]
Warrior of the year
After years of service, Lofty Chicken was honored with the title of “Warrior of the Year” by Soldier of Fortune Magazine. The celebrations started on last Saturday in Las Vegas and appears to still be continuing. There has been evening meeting at “the Chicken Ranch” where discussions center of entertainment and recreation. Lock and Load, […]
LGBT? I’m Confused!
I remember LBJ as a President. But LBJ and LGBT initials don’t line up. Not enough letters. Well, I drove a MGB-GT years ago. That’s closer to the same initials, but not a good fit. It must mean when Lyndon Johnson drove his own MGB-GT. That must be it. Right? I’ll find out more at […]
Kavanaugh Allegation
The Senate Judicial Committee has been notified of more Brett Kavanaugh allegations. The committee was stunned to learn that Choo Choo Chicken, AKA “Train Puller’ Chicken, (an admitted gang swinger) attended a party in in the Delaware area. He admitted that he intentionally got the Supreme Court nominee drunk and had his way with him. […]
Chainsaw Chicken Cartoons
The secret is finally out and I can talk about it. My new cartoon series will begin in two weeks. It is meant to compete against “The Simpsons” to try to displace their number one position for all these years. The series focuses on all the events that stem from this collection of posts, found […]
Bill Cosby Arrives in Court
Bill Cosby surrendered himself today on a variety of allegations related to sexual charges leveled at him. The new District Attorney for that county only days before the statute of limitation would expire. Seen here is Mr. Cosby escorted by his two attorneys, Ms Gloria Bigalooser and the lead attorney ‘Roofie‘ Chicken. “We have no […]