Each cycle of Olympic games brings a new series of events that reflects trends, positions, and demands that corporate sponsors want to add to broaden the total events. This year, the highly anticipated event was added to the floor exercises under gymnastics. It is the Trans-Bisexual-Crossdressing Exhibition LGBTQ-xyz Drama brought to life on the gymnastic […]
Olympic Chicktopian
At the last minute, the International Olympic Community, IOC, has accepted the sports group called Chicktopia. This group is an organization of fellow relatives of Chainsaw Chicken. Watch for their members participating in gymnastics, diving, track and field and other events. “We owe the pressure on the IOC from Dr. Jill ‘Kildare‘ Biden. With out […]
Is it a compliment?
Oscar Wilde famously said, “Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery that mediocrity can pay to greatness.” The first part of that quote is popular but the latter is more fitting. The list of others trying to leverage the name “Chainsaw Chicken” is growing. With the popularity of my site and the ignorance of others […]
“Eat it, Jeff” launch ready
Doesn’t everyone have their own rocket ship, like Richard Branson, Jeff Bazos and myself? If you find that you don’t have your own rocket and you have a overwhelming desire to go to space, you don’t have to pay half a million for a seat. Not near that amount. Only $999.95 or $19 dollars a […]
Crime Out of Control
Crime is out of control. Look at the latest tragedy. One of my dear sweet cousins joined the ranks of the cult-like, ritualistic slaughter of chicken for this summer. My cousin was so consumed by the heat of the flames that all distinguishing traits were destroyed. We can’t even tell the sex. “This will probably […]
Big Deal, Zuck!
Many of you saw the nation-wide coverage of Ol’ Zuck balancing on his multi thousand dollar electric foil surf board waiving Old Glory. Supposedly happening on the 4th of July, in a publicity stunt meant to re-affirm his patriotic intent for his company and all it stands for to the U.S of A. Not shown […]
Happy 4th of July!
Happy 4th of July! God Bless America from the Chainsaw Chicken family! In just about any other country, I would be drawn and quartered and given to KFC but here, I can say the truth about things and tell it like it really happens. Even if the head man wears aviator glasses or has an […]
Evolution Disturbed
Scientist and evolutionist were elated when they heard that a huge block of ice was discovered that encased a prehistoric cave man. It was found at the foot of the glacier out-cropping near Yellowstone Park. Just as suddenly they were mystified and dismayed when they learned that the totally preserved, fully encased body was apparently […]
New Harvard Chaplain
Harvard University has selected a man who does not believe in God to be the school’s chief chaplain. Chief Chaplain Epstein Chicken now serves as Harvard’s Humanist Chaplain. Also,the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) Humanist Chaplain, as well as Convener for Ethical Life at the MIT Office of Religious, Spiritual, and Ethical Life. “We don’t […]
Bridges over foamy waters
I’m reminded of the time I was at a country dance bar with Mrs. Chicken’s niece. We were dancing it up for hours and drinking the suds to keep cool and hydrated. Now, I know what you are thinking but it is all ‘platonic‘… really. We had one room but we each had a separate […]
Bigfoot Drumsticks
There was little press coverage when a coalition of photographic professionals from NASA as well as experts from Chainsaw Chicken International, LTD announced the results of a digital computerized study of the famous Roger Patterson image of Bigfoot taken on 1967 in Northern California. Recently, claims have been made that the encounter filmed was a […]
Don’t Blame Me
What more can be said? If you voted for me in your last election then you can proudly claim your innocence as everything starts to circle the drain like a discarded cigarette butt flushed in the toilet of the world economy. Get your flag proclaiming your foresight. Send a check in the amount of your […]
Stool Pigeon
They are after me! They are using any method they can to get me. Just like the Attorney General of New York has been quoted to say, “Show me the man, I’ll show you the crime!” This “Stool Pigeon” just kept spewing all kinds of indictments about me! I’ve heard he said things like; “He’s […]
Keep Calm Statue
This statue was brought to Britain 119 years ago. It was removed from display at Cambridge University in 2006 over a ‘racism’ claim. The bronze cockerel, was known as the Okukor. IN 2006, the College’s student union passed a motion. They insisted it should be returned to present day Nigeria after they claimed British troops […]
Gain of Function
With all the talk of ‘Gain of Function” discussion going on, the world has learned a few new and startling facts. While visiting the other food market in Wuhan, China, called the ‘Moist Store’, similar to the infamous ‘Wet Market’, Chainsaw Chicken was approached by representatives of The Wuhan Institute of Virology to participate in […]
Do the Chicken Dance
Chicken Dance The “Chicken Dance”, also known as the Bird Song, the Birdie Song, the Bird Dance or the Chicken Song, is an oom-pah song; its associated fad dance is now a contemporary dance throughout the Western world. The song was composed by accordion player Werner Thomas from Davos, Switzerland, in the 1950s. […]
CDC “Don’t Kiss Chickens”
The CDC warned that poultry owners should take special precautions when handling their animals after 163 confirmed cases of salmonella were reported in 43 states. “Don’t kiss or snuggle backyard poultry, and don’t eat or drink around them.” That does it! Do I tell Dr. Rochelle Walensky who she gets to make out with? Does […]
Klaatu Barada Nikto
With all the news cropping up about UFOs and the video information ‘leaking’ to the National media, it’s time that I finally come clean and lay out the facts and truth as I know it. You can laugh, snicker or ignore this ever increasing event but it will be to your detriment. You see, I […]
And then, Cisgender
And then I got another message from my doctor. This time it was something called cisgender. Oh no. Not CISGENDER! Anything but THAT! But what is it? I quickly ordered the latest edition on woke-ism from Amazon, and with my Prime account I got it within 2 weeks. I immediately opened up to the “S” […]
Intersectionality Test
Woke affliction number 2; Then, the same doctor that said I had acquired impostor syndrome, sent me another message on his private medical site with results of some of my other tests. He said, “Intersectionality is an analytical framework for understanding how aspects of a person’s social and political identities combine to create different modes […]