Not sure what the reason was that my order took so long, but guess what showed up today in my mail? That’s right! My X-ray specs. I mailed off for these back in 1962 from the back of my latest issue of True Love Magazine. Seen here is Mrs. Chicken posing in her flimsy burnoose […]
New Chicken Part Offered
Seems KFC (Kentucky Fried Cousins) is offering a new chicken part to customers. Now we need to try to identify it. It has me baffled. It’s not a chicken beak, or chicken feet like those people in Asia seem to like, so what is it? I heard a suggestion that it was the last part […]
Spontaneous BBQ
This grainy investigation photo is from 1952. It was published in FATE MAGAZINE which was doing a story about Spontaneous Chicken Combustion. Scientists have often fought over whether spontaneous chicken combustion is real but the evidence for the argument is very compelling. Most of the chickens who died from SCC were either smoking or drinking […]
Project Bluebook ’61
Date: Sept. 17, 1961 Location: Van Dyke Turnpike area, Troy, OH Incident Report: Rooster child named Chainsaw Chicken, age 5, was reported to be missing for 4 hours on this date. When finally discovered, he had no explanation at all as to where he had been except to say he saw a ‘bright light’ and […]
Mothman Photographed
Mothman is a humanoid moth-like creature reportedly seen in the Point Pleasant area of West Virginia, November 15, 1966 and has not resurfaced for years until recently. Chainsaw Chicken has submitted this photo claiming it is Mothman taken two days ago in the Pt. Pleasant’s legendary T.N.T storage area. He was even able to record […]
Texas Chainsaw Massacre
All the movies about “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” were based on actual acts by Chainsaw Chicken. His therapy treatment was successful and the threat to the general population has been greatly reduced now that he is on parole and being forced to participate in chemical treatments. Reeducation Camps Begin
Cosmic Chicken Continues
UPDATE: The Cosmic Chicken that terrorized Finland in our previous entry found his way into France. Locals there began rioting and burning structures in the hope of driving out this unwanted prehistoric chicken. He had originally emerged from being thawed by radiation coming from intense exposure to the Aurora Borealis rays. The press has claimed […]
Cosmic Chicken Attacks
The latest news from the arctic region of Finland is not good. The super-magnetism released into our ionosphere multiplying the effect of the latest Aurora Borealis containing a lethal amount of radiation causing this prehistoric chicken to thaw from a glacier. “The process works much the same way as defrosting a chicken from your freezer […]
‘Eyes Wide Shut’
When Stanley Kubrick was scouting for the occult ritual enjoyed by the rich dedicated sycophants, he and his scouting team where allowed to observe a private rite where the leader of this cult would select compliant and willing members to roam within the mist of the incense and noxious fumes. The list of members attending, […]
Easter Island Discovery
After finally obtaining permission from the government of Peru, Bumgardener Chicken started using microwave technology to search Easter Island for more Moai heads carved by the Rapa Nui. Within a few days an entire row of Moai heads where found under the ruins of a past culture. These carvings dated back farther than the typical […]
New Friends to the Rescue
My niece was driving in the badlands of New Mexico last week and evidently took a wrong road. She followed it for miles until her TomTom GPS device stopped saying “Turn around and head back to the last town” and started saying, “Don’t Stop, Whatever you do! Your goose will be cooked”. She called me […]
Black Moon Cult on Parade
Chainsaw Chicken is a dedicated cult member of the ‘Black Moon’ society where he recently reached the title of “Lamp Wick” after being a “Grease Lug” for years at that rank. Next he is working to become a “Space Visor” which is comparable to a 33rd degree Mason. Chicken-dactyl Called Foo
Chicken Steals UFO
As crazy as it sounds, yes! Chainsaw Chicken was able to commandeer and abandoned Unidentified Flying Object left at a community playground in La Cross, Wisc. “The technology is really something” stated Chainsaw. “It was disguised as playground equipment where children could crawl and pretend to fly away. But I figured out the method of […]
‘Crocky’ Finally Located
Known for his hi jinks and tom-foolery, ‘Crocky’ Chicken, (born Eugene Palmaroy Chicken) was finally located yesterday. He was an employee at the Queensland Regional Dangerous Animal Park. Rumor had it that he had walked away from his job after failing to appears for the third sequential personal safety meeting. “Sheba”, the star salt-water croc, […]
Zodiac Re-Opened
The sleepy city of Tierra Del Fuego in Central California raised its head to see this new sketch of the infamous Zodiac Killer that terrorized their community years ago. This new drawing has emerged from one of the only surviving witnesses latest descriptions. Using a new mind numbing procedure, it allowed the witness to gather […]
Early Chicken Worship
In the middle-ages, the early family of Chainsaw Chicken had followers that would dawn outfits made of hand sewn burlap and dried gourds to imitate his look. Thus capturing in their minds the powers and presence of their hero. Seen here is a early tin-type of a Chainsaw Chicken Chorus group chanting during the half-time […]
We Had a Warm Halloween
One of our favorite Halloween activities was to roast our candy…. Creepy, huh? Uncle Chuck’s ’65 Chevy Malibu was real easy to set a flame. Just a lite cigarette dropped on those cotton stuffed seats soaked in turpentine and …. “WOOOOSH!” Stanley was always a nut!
Gigantopithecus Selfie
While on a recent excursion into the wilds of the Asian sub-continent, Anthropological Professor Alsasian Chicken of Wossamotta U straightens up from is morning bird-bath (similar to a sponge bath, but no sponge and no nurse) to see a Gigantopithecus intensely watching his actions. Ever on the ready, Alsasian Chainsaw takes this most unusual selfie […]
KFC Opens in Saigon
As the new franchise opens, there are protests from the first day. There is no fooling the public about the killing and harvesting of these innocent chickens. “Who did they hurt? What harm did they cause?” asked Ramadan Chicken from the Tibetan Ashram near Saigon. These words were murmured shortly before Ramadan immolated himself in […]
The Mrs’ 1st Husband
I know it may come as a surprise to some but before I was in the picture, Mrs. Chicken was previously married. It’s difficult for me to imagine my beautiful wife coupled with someone else, but the truth is the truth. This relationship was quickly annulled when she complained that they had never consummated their […]