Welcome to Classic Chicken Theater Playhouse. This organization was founded by honored and awarded namesake, Chainsaw Chicken, to help others learn and shape their craft of classical acting. Chainsaw’s primary belief is that the actors need to take generally known plays and add challenges to the overall theme. All plays are done with the players […]
New Adult Party Place
A new adult party place was launched outside of the regional headquarters of Tyson Chicken in Springdale, Arkansas. While admittedly these establishments are clearly not for everyone, the popularity of adult party businesses have been increasing throughout the country. In this photo, taken by a local newspaper reporter. He was also attending the launch. He […]
Chainsaw Gets 33rd Degree
In a surprise ceremony at Chainsaw Chicken International, Ltd, Chainsaw was so astonished to learn that he had been awarded the honors of a 33rd Degree Freemason of the Scottish Rite. With that, comes membership in the Illuminati as well as New World Order using Build Back Better. Who would have known that the lunch […]
Bringing Back Walt
In a somewhat predictable move today, the largest minority share holders of Disney stock (DIS) have hired Dr. DeBakie Chicken to manage a controversial move. What move? It seems that this minority block has persuaded a Disney employee to remove the frozen head of Walt Disney from the cryogenic vault below Disneyland where the founders […]
The last known Yhicken
The last known Yhicken Indian, ‘Fri’ was also claimed to be the last “wild” Native American Poultry. A survivor of the 1976 Three Processors Massacre. He was found alone near the processing plant in White Water, Arkansas in 1981. He was on the verge of death. In August of that year, Fri was placed under […]
NEW: Barn Yard Flakes
From Compost Cereals, the makers of ‘Colon Blow’, now brings you a new breakfast treat called ‘Barn Yard Flakes’. Yes… You too can get that daily need of dried residue from our corporate facilities. Scrape up a heaping bowl of new ‘Barn Yard Flakes’ breakfast cereal, sit back and work your way threw all the […]
Secret Decoder Ring
Ever notice how confusing and disconnected some political people can be in their speeches and press conferences? I tried and tried to really understand their statements. I would take the key sentence and diagram it on a white board so I could get the full meaning of what was being expressed. But alas, I just […]
You Stupid Son of a Bitch!
“You Stupid Son of a Bitch!” roared from the lectern, the President pointing his index finger aiming at Chainsaw Chicken. Chainsaw froze in position instead of leaving the press briefing. He slowly turned to face the President seeing who he was speaking to. Biden’s finger remained twitching at him. “Me?? Me, Mr. President?” Chainsaw meekly […]
Am I now Poly?
I am now in a Polyamory relationship. I know. I am so lucky! What is Polyamory? Well, ‘poly’ is an umbrella term for all forms of ethical, consensual, and loving non-monogamy, and for a false teeth adheasive. And ‘amory’ can be used to refer to a place where troops store their weapons. In this case […]
Pre-Havana Syndrome
Chainsaw was suffering from a typical headache. He had them most of his life. As he leaned back in his easy chair and tried to relax, his thoughts went back to that old black and white T.V. commercial for Anacin Aspirin. He remembered watching them as a kid always seeing it while watching “Voyage to […]
Rescue Fortune Cookie
Have you seen this on the news? A rash of fortune cookies with a distressing message hidden inside. Hundreds of Chinese restaurants have tried to explain to their customers that this message must be some kind of joke. But the International Human Rights Commission thinks that it’s no joke. “When a customer at a restaurant […]
Like my Christmas lights?
Hey! How they hangin’? I’m talkin’ about my Christmas lights? They look so much better with the lights off inside my house. I kinda like the inside lights off at night. I can watch the neighbors house or the people strolling down the sidewalk. It’s as though I am invisible. They might be creeped out […]
The transcendental chicken
♫ Hare Krishna ♫ Hare Krishna ♫ Krishna, Krishna ♫ Hare Hare… ‘Ching’ sounded the finger cymbals at the end of the chant. Mahavishnu Chicken closed his eyes, breathed in the incense smoke of sandalwood and chanted “Gunga galunga… Gunga, gunga-galunga”. ‘Ching-Ching” again chimed the cymbals. Mahavishnu Chicken continued to chant with expectations of connecting […]
Send a message
Send a message with this cell phone case. Visit our store and see a selection of shirts, cups, tumbler and now, cell phone protective covers for many popular phones on the market. Listen to me, Kid!
Group session was typical
Just another Tuesday, literally. Every Tuesday, rain or shine, I have a group session with some other fellows. I don’t know how they select the members of our group. We don’t seem to have much in common for sure. In fact, we don’t say much in the session. I’m not afraid to talk but they […]
Deep Woods Threesome
“Hey guys! What new?” asked Chainsaw at his weekly coffee meeting with Ronald McDonald and Sasquatch. Sas (what friends call Sasquatch) and RonnieMac (Ronald McDonald) turned to watch Chainsaw lower his posterior on to the bench slowly with a grown, just as seen in that classic Progressive Insurance commercial about turning into your parents. “You […]
Here’s Mud in Your Eye!
Sacrifice event
I found this photo in the back room at the community hall where I sometimes visit. There it was. It was all framed and hanging on the wall but obscured behind a bookshelf.. I took it down and went to the Grand Poobah to find out what it was from. “Your Majesty, Chainsaw requests a […]
Evolution Disturbed
Scientist and evolutionist were elated when they heard that a huge block of ice was discovered that encased a prehistoric cave man. It was found at the foot of the glacier out-cropping near Yellowstone Park. Just as suddenly they were mystified and dismayed when they learned that the totally preserved, fully encased body was apparently […]
New Harvard Chaplain
Harvard University has selected a man who does not believe in God to be the school’s chief chaplain. Chief Chaplain Epstein Chicken now serves as Harvard’s Humanist Chaplain. Also,the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) Humanist Chaplain, as well as Convener for Ethical Life at the MIT Office of Religious, Spiritual, and Ethical Life. “We don’t […]