With a noticeable tremble in his hands and his voice, Chainsaw swallowed hard and dabbed the sweat beads on his brow. “This….. is…. the…the… girls showers!” He paused, moving around, shifting his weight from one foot to another…. “This was sacred ground when I was in school. It was literally ‘no mans land’ to us […]
Get your FAKE chicken!
Fake Chicken? Yes… Chicken made from plant protein. MMmm mm Good! It’s so good, Chainsaw has dedicated all his free time to promote the alternative of using fake chicken rather than slaughtering his family members. ” We have to do something about the systematic extermination of all those that look like me. Next we have […]
First Electric Cargo Ship
News arrived that great Uncle Henry Morgan Chicken has been selected to skipper the first, all electric cargo ship. When asked about this privilege, Captain Henry simply said “Arrrrrr, Supposed to be a great honorrrrr!” his Nantucket accent in full display. The interview continued, “So how long have you been a ships captain? Henry answered […]
New “Woke Wash”
Have you noticed a sudden decrease in your social woke-ism? Have others noticed your lack of being sufficiently woke, as well? Do you know someone, such as your spouse, parent or neighbor that are secretly conservatives or even members of that evil political party here in the USA, that really needs to be ‘immersed’ in […]
Successful Dating
Dating can be very tricky now days. I see the very high frustration level on the other men’s faces, siting alone as I am in the back corner booth with my posse. While others worry about swipe right or left with online dating, I have learned what really works and keeps the ladies coming back, […]
She’s going threw them changes
Things are really changing around our coop. Mrs. Chicken has me alarmed. First she goes out and gets new hair-do. Then, she joins a Pilates class. Now, by themselves, these are fine and I welcome her desires to improve herself, although I always felt she was perfect just the way she was. Yet, more things […]
I’m Now on a Stamp
News arrived today that the country called “the United Democracy of Kyrgyzstan” has agreed to offer a commemorative stamp in my honor. What an honor! The way it happened is like this. One of my cousins is a big time smuggler. He was in Kyrgyzstan picking up a pocket full of giant-sized topaz jewels ftom […]
What’s Coming Down
“Look up to see what’s coming down”. A famous expression put to music by Carlos Santana in 1972. Nearly 50 years later, let’s ask the same question. “What’s coming down?” Gasoline? No… Taxes? Oh no… Food? Cost of Living? Home values? Car prices? UFO sightings? Hahahaha.. You’re kidding, right? Okay, Okay… Look, It’s like this, […]
Get BeliefFactor for pain
Hi friends! Boone Chicken here. You see this site from my cousin Chainsaw? We lovingly refer to it as Belief Factor. A Belief factor of what is real and eye opening. I view it every day. If you’re in pain right now from the garbage on other sites, you have a choice to make. You […]
We LOVE Him
It was bound to happen. I guess it was inevitable. These nuts come out of the woodwork and try to claim their 15 mins of fame latching on to someone who is highly respectable, noteworthy and adored by others in a drastic attempt to get their attention. But this guy lowers the bar to an […]
Suck it up!
As we continually keep being reminded, equity is universal. We need to have equity! Remember, we all need to have equity. But also remember, some of us have more equity in things than others. Get used to it. “You can’t let all of us have the same equity. When you look at all the homes […]
More Infringement
Another ‘compliment’ to the name of Chainsaw Chicken. In fact, they stole the name from a famous t-shirt we offered first back in 2017 and again in an entry on this site in 2019. I can’t tell you how ‘thrilled’ I am about this punk rock band choosing to ignore copyright law just so they […]
Is it a compliment?
Oscar Wilde famously said, “Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery that mediocrity can pay to greatness.” The first part of that quote is popular but the latter is more fitting. The list of others trying to leverage the name “Chainsaw Chicken” is growing. With the popularity of my site and the ignorance of others […]
“Eat it, Jeff” launch ready
Doesn’t everyone have their own rocket ship, like Richard Branson, Jeff Bazos and myself? If you find that you don’t have your own rocket and you have a overwhelming desire to go to space, you don’t have to pay half a million for a seat. Not near that amount. Only $999.95 or $19 dollars a […]
Big Deal, Zuck!
Many of you saw the nation-wide coverage of Ol’ Zuck balancing on his multi thousand dollar electric foil surf board waiving Old Glory. Supposedly happening on the 4th of July, in a publicity stunt meant to re-affirm his patriotic intent for his company and all it stands for to the U.S of A. Not shown […]
New Harvard Chaplain
Harvard University has selected a man who does not believe in God to be the school’s chief chaplain. Chief Chaplain Epstein Chicken now serves as Harvard’s Humanist Chaplain. Also,the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) Humanist Chaplain, as well as Convener for Ethical Life at the MIT Office of Religious, Spiritual, and Ethical Life. “We don’t […]
Bridges over foamy waters
I’m reminded of the time I was at a country dance bar with Mrs. Chicken’s niece. We were dancing it up for hours and drinking the suds to keep cool and hydrated. Now, I know what you are thinking but it is all ‘platonic‘… really. We had one room but we each had a separate […]
Keep Calm Statue
This statue was brought to Britain 119 years ago. It was removed from display at Cambridge University in 2006 over a ‘racism’ claim. The bronze cockerel, was known as the Okukor. IN 2006, the College’s student union passed a motion. They insisted it should be returned to present day Nigeria after they claimed British troops […]
And then, Cisgender
And then I got another message from my doctor. This time it was something called cisgender. Oh no. Not CISGENDER! Anything but THAT! But what is it? I quickly ordered the latest edition on woke-ism from Amazon, and with my Prime account I got it within 2 weeks. I immediately opened up to the “S” […]
Intersectionality Test
Woke affliction number 2; Then, the same doctor that said I had acquired impostor syndrome, sent me another message on his private medical site with results of some of my other tests. He said, “Intersectionality is an analytical framework for understanding how aspects of a person’s social and political identities combine to create different modes […]