Poor, poor P’nut the squirrel. Most know the story but for those who actually have a life, here is a quick review. A man in the State of New York rescued an orphaned baby squirrel. He cared for it and sheltered it while creating a meaningful owner/pet relationship. The squirrel soon learned some basic tricks […]
Pesky Impersonators
I am at my breaking point. It’s getting so that I can’t go anywhere without seeing people that are trying to steal my identity, pretending to be me. Impostors, impersonators, fakes like stolen valor of sorts. Just last weekend, I was at the park with Mrs. Chicken along with my nieces and nephews, Slomo, […]
The Significance of Time
The Significance of Time…. The significance,…of… time. So much to ponder. Much has been said, in fact, a significant amount of time has been spent on the significance of time. Why such a significant amount of time? Let’s toss this word salad high in the air. Let us use the example of a yellow school […]
Google Gemini Fowled Up
Google said it plans to relaunch its artificial intelligence image generation software within the next few weeks after taking it offline in response to an uproar over what critics called “absurdly woke” depictions of historical scenes. Though the Gemini chatbot remains up and running, Google paused its image AI feature last week after it generated […]
KFC Payback with Wasabi
I guess this American KFC Tweet relayed through a Japanese Tweet is some sort of a compliment idolizing myself. A clumsy attempt to piggy-back on my popularity. But… Remember that age old maxim… “Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery that mediocrity can pay to greatness.” ― Oscar Wilde Remember Oscar Wilde? He was found […]
Puttin’ on the Dog
Taking a stroll outside Chainsaw Chicken International, Ltd. headquarters, Chainsaw is ready for the paparazzi chasing and persecuting him because his image is worth so much to the 4th estate. Let’s hope that it doesn’t end in a two hour chase through one of the most populated cities during rush hour where multiple accidents and […]
Google Bans 90% of Chainsaw Chicken Site
Our web professionals here at Chainsaw Chicken International, Ltd have been diving deep into why so many can not enjoy our feature site. Well, after careful, rigorous examination of our meta data and statistical analysis, we have found that Google has purposely blocked, non-indexed or excluded over 90% of ChainsawChicken.com “Non-sense”, expounded Chainsaw. “We’ve been […]
My Metaverse
Welcome to my metaverse. I am the supreme leader here. I control everything. I control how you feel. I am the one that gives pleasure to you and ultimately, to myself. There is nothing in my metaverse that I don’t totally influence, inhibit, accept or reject. In my metaverse you exist at my choice. You […]
Arrival at Martha’s Vineyard
Once we heard the welcoming message posted throughout Martha’s Vineyard, Chainsaw and his whole family decided to relocate to that wanting island. We traded eggs for a great big school bus that had been used by a local organic commune. They had decided to go ‘all-electric’ using rechargeable flashlight batteries on a used Chevy Volt. […]
Chicken Attracted Person
Balenciaga has formally apologized for an advertising campaign featuring Chicken abduction for bondage. The new name for this bestiality is ‘Chicken Attracted Person’. The response from the news and media has been next to nothing. It’s been postulated that the lack of coverage is the result of sounding like the are defending Chicken Attracted People […]
Social Media Influencer
In the manner of other great social media influencers, Chainsaw has begun his campaigns to persuade you to consider products you might not actually need. Mimicking the routine of notable influencers such as the infamous Khloé Kardashian, Dixie D’Amelio, and the special David Hogg, Chainsaw invites you to follow his revaluations on the social sites […]
New Adult Party Place
A new adult party place was launched outside of the regional headquarters of Tyson Chicken in Springdale, Arkansas. While admittedly these establishments are clearly not for everyone, the popularity of adult party businesses have been increasing throughout the country. In this photo, taken by a local newspaper reporter. He was also attending the launch. He […]
Trans Antarctic Tour Stalled
You may have seen this on the evening news but here is an update. The ‘Trans Antarctic Tour’ has run into some difficulty on it trek to visit the many manned weather stations in the antarctic. “It seems that our driver ran across an ice crevasse stranding the tracked snow vehicle in a precarious position” […]
You are cancelled!
Face book jail. Blackballed from Twitter. Banned from making comments on many big-time blogs and discussion sites. Shunned by media. Ignored by Hollywood. Castigated by friends and family. These are all elements of being cancelled by the woke folk! The city paper took this picture of how the locals treat me when I venture out, […]
Mensa Membership
It’s all but official. Soon I can add my upcoming Mensa membership to my resume of achievements. What is Mensa? Mensa is an organization that is made up with members that have an I.Q. at a minimum of 98 percentile. That means if you were in this 98 % of high I.Q. and could put […]
Zen Master’s Words
The Zen Master’s words “It is time for us to do what we have been doing… and that time is everyday.” ring more true than ever with the state of the world. These words were profound when they were first chanted by Zen Master ‘Woo Cluck Chicken’ from his peaceful gardens in Compton, California. What […]
New Mandate to Obey!
“Hello and thank you all for attending this zoom corporate call transmitted world wide to all the Chainsaw Chicken International, Ltd, facilities, branch offices, remote locations and those of you who are working from home” said Chainsaw. “As the CEO and President of Chainsaw Chicken International and having well over 100 employees, we are subject […]
I am so offended!
Yes… Very offended! How do I get the cancel culture to respond to this horrible attack on my person with this hideous song propagated on YouTube? Oh, if this was about some Chicken that was sexually fluid or had crossed into the United States by illegal means they would be covering the story on all […]
People’s Choice Winner
With the lowest viewership ever recorded, it’s a safe bet to assume that you didn’t see I won my People’s Choice Award tonight. As I entered the lobby walking to the auditorium, there were no media hosts or even fans trying to get a snapshot. No interviews or even a question shouted. If fact, I […]
Crossing State Lines
He’s crossing State lines! Yes! Chainsaw is crossing State lines! Quick! Call the alphabet media! You have trouble watching any news broadcast that doesn’t seem to include that line. Especially when it’s about something linked to an opposing political point of view. But as Chainsaw points out, what if we applied this standard to other […]