It was so embarrassing for Mrs. Chicken. She was really trying to make a very important point when she attended the Gala at the Met in New York.. This was s message to everyone by noticing her dress. Maybe even some press. She wanted to let people know that vegetarians have other options rather than […]
Hair sniffing isn’t so bad
For the last several years we’ve all been hearing about certain executives that we see on the news each night being accused of hair sniffing young women. I must admit, at first it did not sound appealing to me at all. Running around sniffing the hair of pre-teen and teens with some form of delight. […]
Wuhan Lab Discovery
Guest scientist Fauci Chicken has been working non-stop for months at the Wuhan Labs, in order to try to avoid the similarities of the issues with Merek’s Disease and Covid-19. Here is what Wikipediphile says about Merek’s Disease in chickens: (look for yourself under ‘Prevention’ at the link below) “Because vaccination does not prevent infection […]
Smiling Assassin
Tragedy reared it’s ugly head in our home this week. When Mrs. Chicken and I returned from the gala at the Met, we found Rodney, our neighbor. He likes, ahhh…(pause) ‘liked’ to dress as if he was a member of our family. He was watching the summer finale of America’s Got Talent at our place […]
Biden Adjustments
Darth Chicken has returned to the Oval Office to make some adjustments and fine tuning. “Just a small adjustment with this tiny dial… THERE! Now! That should shorten the lag time between questions and answers… Okay, now for the sleepiness during the day. I am turning up the alertness throttle stop. Almost there… ahhhh…DONE! Now…I […]
String Puller Identified
An accidental image was captured on a closed circuit secure broadcast to other figure-heads and supposed leaders within the New World Order. There, to those who were able to see the secret image witness, was the answer that so many people who ask the question. “Who is really pulling the strings behind Biden”? When the […]
Ghani hides in our home
“A warm welcome to you Mr. Ghani”, Mrs. Chicken said to the ex-president of Afghanistan as he exited his limo. “Salam alaikum” Chainsaw proclaimed, sweeping his palm to his chest and bowing some. Ghani swooped past Chainsaw, checking over his shoulder left and right. He asks, “Any press around here? I have been trying to […]
Spies Like Us
With the fall of Afghanistan and the debacle of Hamid Karzai International Airport in Kabul, Chainsaw Chicken has been reactivated and sent in as a deep undercover spy. His mission? To get in tight with the leadership of the Taliban network to be the eyes and ears of the ‘over the horizon‘ capabilities the Washington […]
Plans for Biden Library
The final plans for the Biden Presidential Library were selected today. The winner of the contract went to the Nation-wide Architectural firm of ‘Oliver, William and Murphy’, headquartered in Talahoochie, Delaware. “We have a few obstacles to overcome”, outlined the firms President, Mr. Oliver. “First, is with the lack of availability to obtain the needed […]
“Chicken Hawk” captured
The assassin-spy known as “Carlos the Chicken Hawk” has finally been captured. He was visiting some friends through the fence at the Foster Farms retention area where he was apprehended. He initially identifying himself a someone name Bruce Biden, a close cousin to President Biden. It was later learned that he was actually Carlos Chicken. […]
California to NY
Since Chainsaw announced his intentions to replace Newsom as Governor of California, everybody and their neighbor have signed up as well. From transsexuals to talk show hosts, the field suddenly became rather crowded and Chainsaw soon realized that he had not caught the eye of the voting electorate or the mega press. Then a wonderful […]
We play Gov and Assistant
Mrs. Chicken and I need to thank you, Governor Cuomo. You have brought something special into our marriage without you even knowing us. Last week I was sitting on the couch with Mrs. Chicken when she put her arm around my shoulders. I told her “that was no way to treat the Governor of this […]
Suck it up!
As we continually keep being reminded, equity is universal. We need to have equity! Remember, we all need to have equity. But also remember, some of us have more equity in things than others. Get used to it. “You can’t let all of us have the same equity. When you look at all the homes […]
I can do it better, Hunter!
“I am asking $2 Million for this one. I put a lot of work on this piece. Look at the technique! The media! I’m not blowing spit through a straw. This is paint! And look, I’m using a chicken foot for a brush!” proclaimed by my cousin Vincent Van Chick. “I’ve messaged Miss Kamakazi… no… […]
My Obama B-day Invite
I am so disappointed! My invitation to Barrack’s 60th birthday bash did not arrive in time for me to attend! It would have been nice if they would have put some actual postage on the damn envelope! Here I am, getting this on the day of his party. I was all prepared with a gift […]
Hard Scrabble Joey
My daddy once lost his job and when he came home, thew his lunch box on the kitchen table and said “Joey…” (I don’t know why he called me Joey, my name is Chainsaw), “I mean… Look, I’m not kidding, really…” His conversation dwindled off…. “Yes Dad? What?” I asked. He suddenly sprang to life […]
Crime Out of Control
Crime is out of control. Look at the latest tragedy. One of my dear sweet cousins joined the ranks of the cult-like, ritualistic slaughter of chicken for this summer. My cousin was so consumed by the heat of the flames that all distinguishing traits were destroyed. We can’t even tell the sex. “This will probably […]
Big Deal, Zuck!
Many of you saw the nation-wide coverage of Ol’ Zuck balancing on his multi thousand dollar electric foil surf board waiving Old Glory. Supposedly happening on the 4th of July, in a publicity stunt meant to re-affirm his patriotic intent for his company and all it stands for to the U.S of A. Not shown […]
Happy 4th of July!
Happy 4th of July! God Bless America from the Chainsaw Chicken family! In just about any other country, I would be drawn and quartered and given to KFC but here, I can say the truth about things and tell it like it really happens. Even if the head man wears aviator glasses or has an […]
Don’t Blame Me
What more can be said? If you voted for me in your last election then you can proudly claim your innocence as everything starts to circle the drain like a discarded cigarette butt flushed in the toilet of the world economy. Get your flag proclaiming your foresight. Send a check in the amount of your […]