The internet has been all a buzz about Joe Biden getting pooped on by a bird when he spoke in Iowa. You probably saw it on the news. When that happened, people all over started suggesting it was me, Chainsaw. That I was the one in the rafters. It was not me…really! Clearly that’s not […]
Financial Yacht Party
My Uncle, Hunter Chicken, was commissioned to bring his 75 meter yacht to the coastal area of Delaware for those ‘hanger-ons’ and “unofficial” foreign government representatives of the current administration to party with the son of the ‘big guy’. There the twins from Ukraine, Mushi and Pushi. There’s Shemi from Uzbekistan and there’s Miss Columbia’s […]
Russian TV Interrupted
Some of you may have seen the short video of a television station employee stepping out behind the Russian TV announcer to tell watchers that they need to know the truth about the war with Ukraine. It made the news everywhere. Those 20 seconds startled the world. But if you had let the program continue, […]
Secret Decoder Ring
Ever notice how confusing and disconnected some political people can be in their speeches and press conferences? I tried and tried to really understand their statements. I would take the key sentence and diagram it on a white board so I could get the full meaning of what was being expressed. But alas, I just […]
Genocide Games Zamboni
Have you been watching the Genocide Olympic Games from Beijing? Have you noticed how smooth and flawless the ice is? After all those skaters from hockey or ice dancing cutting grooves it can be pretty tricky for the competitors. They don’t show it much on the coverage but you should know that it’s Chainsaw Chicken […]
You Stupid Son of a Bitch!
“You Stupid Son of a Bitch!” roared from the lectern, the President pointing his index finger aiming at Chainsaw Chicken. Chainsaw froze in position instead of leaving the press briefing. He slowly turned to face the President seeing who he was speaking to. Biden’s finger remained twitching at him. “Me?? Me, Mr. President?” Chainsaw meekly […]
You are cancelled!
Face book jail. Blackballed from Twitter. Banned from making comments on many big-time blogs and discussion sites. Shunned by media. Ignored by Hollywood. Castigated by friends and family. These are all elements of being cancelled by the woke folk! The city paper took this picture of how the locals treat me when I venture out, […]
Mensa Membership
It’s all but official. Soon I can add my upcoming Mensa membership to my resume of achievements. What is Mensa? Mensa is an organization that is made up with members that have an I.Q. at a minimum of 98 percentile. That means if you were in this 98 % of high I.Q. and could put […]
New Covid Theory
A new Covid theory has surfaced laying blame for the world-wide pandemic being purposely caused by aliens from outer space. This report, not carried by any of the major news networks, claims that in 2019 an alien space craft landed outside of Wuhan, China. The aliens abducted a resident of the area and kept him […]
Zen Master’s Words
The Zen Master’s words “It is time for us to do what we have been doing… and that time is everyday.” ring more true than ever with the state of the world. These words were profound when they were first chanted by Zen Master ‘Woo Cluck Chicken’ from his peaceful gardens in Compton, California. What […]
New Mandate to Obey!
“Hello and thank you all for attending this zoom corporate call transmitted world wide to all the Chainsaw Chicken International, Ltd, facilities, branch offices, remote locations and those of you who are working from home” said Chainsaw. “As the CEO and President of Chainsaw Chicken International and having well over 100 employees, we are subject […]
Mass Baldwin Psychosis
Mass formation psychosis? What is it? Let me put it to you in the form a metaphor. Imagine you are in a theater audience about to enjoy a performance of some magician that is an Alec Baldwin doppelganger. As you sit in the audience, ‘The Great Alec’ began with some simple magic, like ‘rabbit in […]
New Psychic Network
I’m sure you’ve seen the billboards and late night TV commercials for the New Psychic Network. Chainsaw launched a new enterprise this year because of all the unpredictable things happening to everyone. Now, you can give Chainsaw a visit to put those important matters to rest. You can walk away confidently knowing you have all […]
Rescue Fortune Cookie
Have you seen this on the news? A rash of fortune cookies with a distressing message hidden inside. Hundreds of Chinese restaurants have tried to explain to their customers that this message must be some kind of joke. But the International Human Rights Commission thinks that it’s no joke. “When a customer at a restaurant […]
Nick-Chick Steps UP
In this Christmas season, My cousin, Nicolis Chicken steps up and becomes “Nick-Chick”. He’s a helper of good ‘ol Saint Nicholas. He heads off with presents for those who can use the help. This year, Nick-Chick is focusing on things that have been in short supply due to the Brandon Administration and their supposed ‘Bidenomics‘ […]
I am so offended!
Yes… Very offended! How do I get the cancel culture to respond to this horrible attack on my person with this hideous song propagated on YouTube? Oh, if this was about some Chicken that was sexually fluid or had crossed into the United States by illegal means they would be covering the story on all […]
Ice Skating Sweetheart
Despite the new Olympic boycott of U.S. diplomats, Ice Skating Sweetheart, Tonya Chicken, prepares for her debut in Beijing Olympics. Mrs. Chicken is so proud of her niece qualifying for the individual trophy in ice dancing. Traditionally, ice dancing is done in pairs. This is a new event for the Winter Olympics. Each four years […]
VP Voodoo Doll Video
My nephew Chucky Chicken was one of those easy going types. He can change his appearance of thoughts or opinions depending on whomever he is talking with. He’s really developed it into an art. So much so that he was able to waltz his way into the Biden White house administration. Specifically, he is a […]
Biden Medical Video Leaked
In a unexpected mysterious event, President Joe Biden’s Colonoscopy video was leaked today. Rumor has it that it this my have come from the Vice President’s office in retaliation to the negative press leaked to CNN regarding the feud between the two office holders may be having. While recording the video procedure is nothing new, […]
Jimmy is so happy
My cousin Jimmy Chicken was so happy that he was able to have some private moments with the 39th President, Jimmy Carter. Here’s a transcript of the meeting. Jimmy Chicken said to the President, “Hello, Mr. President. I really, really appreciate you allowing me to chat with you for a few minutes”. “It is my […]