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The Real Billy Jack

The Real Billy Jack

Some of you may have heard the name Billy Jack. There may be a few of you that suffered through the series of movies created leveraging the name Billy Jack. But who was Billy Jack? There are some that claim he was a half-breed Navajo and German vagrant, discharged from an elite military unit defending […]

“Hi” – The Microsoft Way

“Hi” – The Microsoft Way

Recently, Microsoft used the opening of their annual online presentation of  ‘ignite” to exemplify their awareness of their own cultural robbery of the land their campus is located on, then they tried to address the social awareness by setting the standards and giving a descriptions to all whom may be watching. Chainsaw wanted to do […]

D.C. Badboys

D.C. Badboys

If you’ve been around a few years, you’ve heard of them. The D.C. Badboys. Chainsaw assembled this group on his porch one day to reminisce. Now lay back, close your eyes and think of these infamous personalities. We’ve all heard of President Biden’s troublesome son, Hunter Biden. His antics keep Joe in a dither, that […]

The Thinker Discussion

The Thinker Discussion

Chainsaw Chicken was visiting the city gardens with his niece, Rose Blossom Chicken. They came across a replica of ‘The Thinker’ statue prominently centered in the acreage. Both of them stood and gazed at the statue, taking in the details sculpted in the figure. The discussion soon turned to the creative origin of this Rodin […]

Turkey Invasion

Turkey Invasion

It was a Turkey Invasion at my uncle’s home! What a slaughter! My uncle, George ‘Patton‘ Chicken knew how to deal with the intruders. With his home defense bat in the ready position you could hear him say famous lines from his namesake movie… “When you put your hand in a pile of goo that […]

Tribute Toy

Tribute Toy

If you remember Black and White television, the Beatles visiting New York City or ‘Leave it to Beaver’ on TV, you probably remember the Dipping Bird. Now, back by popular demand, Ronco with K-tel records and Chainsaw Chicken International, Ltd is offering a commemorative tribute replica for sale. Granted, we’ve made a few changes. Most […]

Machu Picchu Lawn Service

Machu Picchu Lawn Service

Isn’t Machu Picchu beautiful? The stone and grass make such a pleasing image. But you might be asking, “Grass? At 8,000 feet above sea-level? How curious. That must take a real professional yard service to keep it all looking so neat and trimmed with such color”. Let me introduce to you how these patches of […]

Successful Dating

Successful Dating

Dating can be very tricky now days. I see the very high frustration level on the other men’s faces, siting alone as I am in the back corner booth with my posse. While others worry about swipe right or left with online dating, I have learned what really works and keeps the ladies coming back, […]

“Chicken Hawk” captured

“Chicken Hawk” captured

The assassin-spy known as “Carlos the Chicken Hawk” has finally been captured. He was visiting some friends through the fence at the Foster Farms retention area where he was apprehended. He initially identifying himself a someone name Bruce Biden, a close cousin to President Biden. It was later learned that he was actually Carlos Chicken. […]

I’m Now on a Stamp

I’m Now on a Stamp

News arrived today that the country called “the United Democracy of Kyrgyzstan” has agreed to offer a commemorative stamp in my honor. What an honor! The way it happened is like this. One of my cousins is a big time smuggler. He was in Kyrgyzstan picking up a pocket full of giant-sized topaz jewels ftom […]

Crime Out of Control

Crime Out of Control

Crime is out of control. Look at the latest tragedy.  One of my dear sweet cousins joined the ranks of the cult-like, ritualistic slaughter of chicken for this summer. My cousin was so consumed by the heat of the flames that all distinguishing traits were destroyed. We can’t even tell the sex. “This will probably […]

Happy 4th of July!

Happy 4th of July!

Happy 4th of July! God Bless America from the Chainsaw Chicken family! In just about any other country, I would be drawn and quartered and given to KFC but here, I can say the truth about things and tell it like it really happens. Even if the head man wears aviator glasses or has an […]

Evolution Disturbed

Evolution Disturbed

Scientist and evolutionist were elated when they heard that a huge block of ice was discovered that encased a prehistoric cave man. It was found at the foot of the glacier out-cropping near Yellowstone Park. Just as suddenly they were mystified and dismayed when they learned that the totally preserved,  fully encased body was apparently […]

Stool Pigeon

Stool Pigeon

They are after me! They are using any method they can to get me. Just like the Attorney General of New York has been quoted to say, “Show me the man, I’ll show you the crime!” This “Stool Pigeon” just kept spewing all kinds of indictments about me! I’ve heard he said things like; “He’s […]

Baron von Chickthofen

Baron von Chickthofen

With the death of Manfred von Richthofen, known to the world as “The Red Baron”, Germany needed another hero.  The shame of the ‘Red Baron’ being downed by some comic strip dog named ‘Snoopy’ flying his doghouse killing our best pilot and the world universally accepting this obvious propaganda plot required a desperate response. In […]

Ridin’ that Train

Ridin’ that Train

Many have heard the faithful tale of when, on April 30th, in 1900, at Vaughan, Mississippi, Casey Jones died while trying to slow down his train that crashed into another train, killing him but saving his passengers. Songs where sung and stories where told glorifying is exploits. Ever wonder who was the engineer on the […]

Reagan said it first

Reagan said it first

Do you remember when President Reagan said “”With all this manure,” the little boy replied, beaming, “there must be a pony in here somewhere!” Well, Phineas Chicken decided to check out this theory so he headed to D.C. in the hopes of finding a pile of manure. Where else would expect to find a vast […]