Having a nice vacation at the famous beach resort on the south shore of Aruba with his wife and good friend Ms T. Marmalay Chicken. The resort is like Sandals only this one is called ‘Thongs’. Security is tight now that it has been announced that ISIS will be attacking us all with their homemade […]
Undercover Baiter
No one knew about this deckhand named Lupi Chicken (once married to my grandmother’s youngest sister-in-law). He had been with the CIA since he was recruited right out of Fresno Community College. After he learned to speak with a Spanish accent and dyed his Jheri Curled hair he found himself working on a ‘company owned’ […]
Learning to French Kiss
Test subject For Lobotomy
After the Francis Farmer story that was so popularized in story and film, exploiting the horrific treatments of her lobotomy (which she never actually had), my friend and cousin, Daffy Chicken, set out to obtain the benefit from this procedure of a sub-orbital ice pick insertion. Since no one uses and ice pick anymore now […]
Chainsaw Paparazzi
One of Chainsaw’s later jobs started out as a ‘stringer’ for the Bumphuque, N.J. town paper and evolved into being a photographer for the county to document traffic fatalities. After weeks of taking photos of the gory, bloody, disgusting traffic deaths, a relatively large star came through town and stopped at the coffee shop Chainsaw […]
Chainsaw Touchless Wash
With the advent and social popularity of the “bidet” (buh-day) in exclusive and rich accommodations throughout Europe and the U.S., Chainsaw developed an in-facility device that not only acted as a “bidet” but also as a shower. Many entitled Americans had this installed as the next phase in their personal hygiene routine. Upgrades to this […]
Amateurs…
My Recurring Nightmare
Working up a Special Gift
Chainsaw has a list and he’s not gonna bother to check it twice. Hell, he probably won’t look at it at all! Everyone gets the same thing. Unwrapped chocolate looking eggs. Check your fireplace, unless you have a prohibited home where you can not have a fireplace or a hibachi BBQ, because the Climate-estas say that […]
Busted – Locked Up
A New Mexico individual pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct for having such loud sex that it shook the furniture in a neighbor’s home, and then threatened his neighbors for complaining about it. Rio Poco residents who shared a row house wall with Snook ‘Big Burrito’ Chicken, 25, had complained of sex noises, loud music and […]
Out of Fashion…
Mrs. Chainsaw Chicken admits that it may not be politically correct but she broke out her Yves Saint Laurent designed hooded cap made of Blackglama® natural black mink. This is her latest ‘Glamour Shots’ photo taken at the mall as a gift I give her yearly. It’s a wonder what they can do with some […]
Conjoined or Two Headed?
For the first 19 years of life, Cousin Chainsaw Chicken had a conjoined ‘brother’ named Chuck. Chuck’s life was a troubled one. Especially after school kids learned the infamous song where they sing derivations of your first name. ♫ Chuck – Chuck, bo buck, banana-fanna foe….♫ You get the rest. Chuck finally relented and opted […]
Happy Thanksgiving!
Looking for a change in your Thanksgiving Dinner? Here’s my suggestion on a traditional dinner preparation. “After the carcass has been trussed, it’s time to insert the best part. The Dressing! Push the large spoon full of dressing past the tight membrane…” Halloween No-no’s
Turkey Day!
It’s noon on Thanksgiving Day: Turkey’s all over the western world are roasting at 325º degrees… It’s a wonderful day! 100’s of thousands of turkeys are being destroyed!!! Send a message
Ahead of the Game!
THIS is the ultimate mask to wear. Finally an effective mask allowing facial comfort and not fogging up your glasses. The world begins to follow the craze of being like Chainsaw Chicken… https://adventuresofchainsawchicken.com/2021/08/05/covid-entertainer/
Bubbles Arriving
After a serious Mexican meal and a nice warn soak, Chainsaw Chicken’s one-man Jacuzzi will soon begin to acquire the bubbles. https://adventuresofchainsawchicken.com/2021/08/07/more-copyright-infringement/
