At one point in Chainsaw Chickens past, he suffered from bi-polar/dis-associative/anti-social/psychotic/borderline/OCD phobia. He is seen here under armed guard, in a straight jacket within a padded cell and under chemical castration. Cranial-Rectal Inversion
We Had a Warm Halloween
One of our favorite Halloween activities was to roast our candy…. Creepy, huh? Uncle Chuck’s ’65 Chevy Malibu was real easy to set a flame. Just a lite cigarette dropped on those cotton stuffed seats soaked in turpentine and …. “WOOOOSH!” Stanley was always a nut!
Oppps… I Sharted
Struck Down
Oh, the humanity of it all! Not only was she struck down in her youth by an illegal immigrant driving under the influence of Colorado’s new Marijuana laws, but to then also be humiliated by having a highway Stripe-Painting truck spay over her broken body while in the throws of death. Now she has shed […]
Follow The Comet
Missing out on the Hale-Bopp comet event with the Heaven’s Gate followers, Bobby ‘Bongo’ Chicken always felt he was left out. He took it upon himself to try to catch up with those who preceded him back in ’97. ‘Bongo’ purchased the Niki’s, black pants, purple sheet and apple sauce. He stared at the Marshall […]
June is ‘PRIDE’ Month
Do you really think they’re too short? I like them! I am proud to represent a group that is less than two percent of the population and make everyone act as those we are the majority. I’m Now on a Stamp
Star Trek Type History
As a youngster, Chainsaw’s father, Chester Rutherford Chicken wanted to join the navy. All he ever thought about was ships and the great sea stories he was told as a child or had read in books. He volunteered for the Pee-Wee Junior Naval Auxiliary Inland Seaman’s Corp at the age of seven. He was issued […]
Do Buddhist Eat Chicken?
Where’s Your Curtsy?
Webster says ‘Curtsy … a formal way of greeting an important person in which a woman shows respect by placing one foot slightly behind the other and bending her knees.’ However Mrs. Chainsaw Chicken did not hold this faux pas against the Queen when the Queen failed to preform this gesture. Mr. Chainsaw Chicken found […]
My Christmas Wish
In this year of 2016, (reflecting now from 2022 – That was the hope), we pray that with the celebration of the birth of the Lord, that our new president will being the country new ways to proper and make our country even greater. I pray that nothing comes our way to upset the resurgence […]
Just a lit’l bit
During a press conference held two days ago held at in the Malahooie ballroom in Waikiki Hawaii, near the grand pool and indoor jungle corner, Maui Chicken showed just how close he came to winning the annual banana- coconut pie eating contest. He used the same gesture to indicate the height of toilet tissue he […]
The Mrs’ 1st Husband
I know it may come as a surprise to some but before I was in the picture, Mrs. Chicken was previously married. It’s difficult for me to imagine my beautiful wife coupled with someone else, but the truth is the truth. This relationship was quickly annulled when she complained that they had never consummated their […]
No Eggs In There!
Grandson of Chainsaw Chicken, Ryan (Buck) Chicken has entered the pubescent period of his young life more confused than ever. “No Buck, there are no eggs in there”. New Harvard Chaplain
Meet Mrs. Chicken
My lovely wife posed for a Tijuana street artist on our 10th anniversary. She looks pretty good considering she has had 15 clutches of eggs. We have 435 grandchildren counting the one’s we have ‘accepted’ as well as hatched. Bigfoot Drumsticks
Love At First Sight
On the set of the new movie announced staring Pocatello Chicken, Chainsaw’s nephew whom is a struggling actor finally getting his break. In a scene from the first trailer released shows Jennifer Lopez seated on the street from an apparent chance collision with Pocatello Chicken and their eyes lock in instant love ( on screen, […]
An AV Geek In School
Yes. Chainsaw remembers all the slurs and jokes heralded at him in high school about being an AV geek. He learned many things with regard to being a projectionist. Football and basketball jocks were the usual ones laughing and pointing fingers. Say what you will but Chainsaw left high school with a marketable skill. A […]
Squeeze Tube Inventor
This is Edward Scozillia Chicken, a friend of the family, back in 1935. Yes, he developed the concept of the squeezable tube used by medicine and over the counter product manufacturers around the world. His family was very wealthy until the Colgate conglomerate cheated him out of his patent. He liked to play cards while […]
I’ll UnFriend Them!
I had what I thought was a good friend put this up on my Facebook page. I am highly offended by this cartoon obviously directed and targeted at me. Take a look. How can it NOT be about me? Well, I unfriended them right away and all the hundreds that liked it. That doesn’t leave […]
Winner! Winner!
I am sick and tired of this over-used expression at sales meeting and recruiting offices around the English-speaking world. This is as bad as banquet dinners serving “Winner Winner Chicken Dinner”. C’mon, man! Rosemary’s REAL Baby
What Difference?
“What difference, at this point, does it make?” Ms. Hillary uttered those famous words when she was called before a Senate committee investigating the stand-down at Benghazi. I think she became confused and showed an indication of a length that DOES make a difference to her. She didn’t clarify what length of whatever she is […]