When the television series ‘The Lone Ranger’ went from black and white to color starting in 1957, things were going great for Clayton Moore. He was a great replacement for John Hart, who left the series because of some private reasons. Jay Silverheels seemed to be the quintessential Tonto his sidekick. However, in the third […]
Here it is…
‘Here it is… It’s no big deal’ Those famous lines Bill stated in Caddyshack were memorable and very humorous. But where did they come from? The answer came from an event when Chainsaw was actually a waiter at Woodbush Gentleman’s Club. Woodbush was one of nine shops in a chain of adult stores/clubs/booths throughout the […]
My Own Nuc Sub
While the other kids on my block were building forts from cardboard and blankets, Chickpea Chicken had saved his allowance for weeks and finally purchased his own Polaris Submarine. Floating in our 4 foot by 40 feet above ground pool, with the skimmer pump float used to to provide air with the unit. With the […]
Chow Mein Chicken
U.S. intelligence officials said that Christine Swallowswell Fang, the alleged Chinese operative, cozied up to multiple politicians in the California Bay Area between 2011 and 2015 at the direction of China’s Ministry of State Security. We’ve all heard about this report but who were the other politicians that receive the “cozie treatment”? We now know […]
Keeping Holidays Safe
Reserve office Brownfinger Chicken volunteered to assist in helping keep your Thanksgiving and Christmas gatherings safe by enforcing the State’s policy of limiting your gatherings to 6 people, preferably from your own household. This socially woke crew randomly patrols, looking for homes that appear to have a slightly excessive amount of cars in the driveway. […]
Chicken Choking
A new study focuses specifically on the benefits of chicken choking, research suggests that chicken choking, including strangulation through chicken choking, is rumored do the following: reduce stress release tension enhance sleep quality boost constipation elevate mood relieve pin feathers aggravate sprains improve droppings Chicken choking has also been identified as a strategy to improve […]
First COVID-19 Birth
With all the “stay home and stay safe” and “flatten the curve” we all knew the birth rate would not stop. Mr. & Mrs. Chicken would like to announce the arrival of their chick they named Downy. Downy’s shell began to crack late last night and at 8:32 am the shell finally broke through making […]
G’ma’s Photo Album
Watching all those family get together commercials kinda got me reminiscing. So I drove over to Grandma ‘Bubbles’ Chicken home and sat her down on the couch. “Dear Grandma Bubbles” I said, “I want to just chat with you about your life, before Gramps, say back in high school. Can we take a stroll down […]
Your BF’s phone
You just never know… Wait until he’s asleep. Grab his phone, hold it up to his face to unlock the bio-metric lock and take a gander. You won’t believe your eye’s. He’s been feathering text messages all over town. You are so trusting, so honest, so faithful. How could this be? That long lunch with […]
New Chicken Little
Mothman Photographed
Mothman is a humanoid moth-like creature reportedly seen in the Point Pleasant area of West Virginia, November 15, 1966 and has not resurfaced for years until recently. Chainsaw Chicken has submitted this photo claiming it is Mothman taken two days ago in the Pt. Pleasant’s legendary T.N.T storage area. He was even able to record […]
Warrior of the year
After years of service, Lofty Chicken was honored with the title of “Warrior of the Year” by Soldier of Fortune Magazine. The celebrations started on last Saturday in Las Vegas and appears to still be continuing. There has been evening meeting at “the Chicken Ranch” where discussions center of entertainment and recreation. Lock and Load, […]
LGBT? I’m Confused!
I remember LBJ as a President. But LBJ and LGBT initials don’t line up. Not enough letters. Well, I drove a MGB-GT years ago. That’s closer to the same initials, but not a good fit. It must mean when Lyndon Johnson drove his own MGB-GT. That must be it. Right? I’ll find out more at […]
Chainsaw Chicken Cartoons
The secret is finally out and I can talk about it. My new cartoon series will begin in two weeks. It is meant to compete against “The Simpsons” to try to displace their number one position for all these years. The series focuses on all the events that stem from this collection of posts, found […]
My New ‘Chick Magnet’
I ordered a Chick Magnet from the ads you see on Facebook. It arrived with a Chinese postmark. It is so strong, I finally had to leave it in the other room just to take a break. Let’s see. Who is number 22? NOW SERVING NUMBER 22!. My work never ends! Bill Clinton has asked […]
Empty My Gizzard
Okay, okay… I know! Not my best picture, but I went to Six Flags and all I came home with was an empty gizzard and this photo. The others in the car came home with a little more. Like that expression, ‘My parents went on vacation and all I got was this shirt’ was changed […]
Toasted G-Strings
Imagine the explanations that will spill from their mouths when they try to explain the hand print burned into their toasted g-strings. It’s the simple things. After all, chickens will be chickens. Grüne Polizei
Make Chickens Great Again
You’ve seen the news. We all have. Chainsaw Chicken was embroiled in an media firestorm of misleading issues and misrepresented motives surrounding this confrontation. The ‘face-off’ was not with Nicolas Cage as this reference would suggest but with a leader of the Turkeyite Tribe, a small native American group, known for their worship of the […]
Cheaper than a seat!
Chainsaw Chicken is a shrewd financial expert. He has always tried not to spend excessively whenever possible. Here is a picture of him traveling by bus to be with family members in the Tucson, AZ area. By checking himself in as baggage rather than buying a seat, he saved enough to purchase soft drinks at […]
Mrs. Chicken Sun Tans
Mrs. Chicken works on her tan in preparation to defend her fourth place finish in the Kraft Products, Non-beauty contest mentioned in an earlier entry. Good Luck, Mrs. Chicken! Not Based On Looks