My poor brother, Rubin. It’s such a shame. He tries so hard and nothing ever seems to make a difference. Rubin is my half-brother from another clutch and he has always felt somewhat inferior to his other hatchlings. And for no good reason, in my opinion. He’s tall, seems to know his way around the […]
An Easter Chicken
We all know that the reality of rabbits and bunnies laying eggs for Easter is simply not true. A basic biology class will inform you that rabbits and bunnies are mammals and with that, they don’t lay eggs. If they could and still bunnies or rabbits, they would be called Trans species or Otherkin. Here […]
That’s IT!
Gee Wiz! I better have a good excuse this time! I mean…. What’s a guy suppose to do? Look, here it is. It’s like this. I come home from a hard day’s work, I get out of the car, glancing at the mail and begin to see my cloths all over the yard. I reacted […]
Stanley was always a nut!
Stanley Chicken was such a comedic child. Always going for the joke, the punchline. Here he is with his Auntie Griselda during a wedding of her daughter to some ‘turkey’ that lasted only a few years. It was a big shift in the family over the wedding. But leave it to Stanley, he tried any […]
Cranial-Rectal Inversion
Emergency services were called today to give assistance to one of my cousins, Hardwick Chicken. There was an unfortunate accident. It seems that Hardwick, while stepping out of the shower and drying off was approached by his dog. Feeling in an unusually frisky mood, decided to chase after the dog, playfully pulling on his tail, […]
Looking for Love
As it turns out, Cupid was the ancient Roman god of love and counterpart to the Greek god Eros. According to mythology, Cupid was one of the sons of Mercury, the winged messenger of the gods, and Venus, the goddess of love. He was often portrayed as a baby with wings carrying a bow and […]
Search and Destroy
Chainsaw Chicken has accepted the task no one seems willing to do anything about. He has decided to take on those damn SPAM CALLERS with orders to ‘search and destroy’. Using the method practiced in the Vietnam war when we were actually trying to win, he is planning on daily interdiction raids as well as […]
Help Wanted
Help Wanted: We are growing into a woke company and we are now accepting applications for the position of Regional Organic Media Agitator. Applicants for this entry-level position need to possess the following skills and requirements; Successfully completed bachelor-level accreditation in social awareness Have social media account that we can inspect and quantify the amount […]
Moose? Why not Mine?
I’m sure you’ve heard about items made from Moose excrement, as well as quail and other critters where they fashion their droppings into other cute or decorative things. I had to ask myself, “Why not do the same?” Now I would like to offer some items made from my poop. Remember, even though a big […]
Gunga Galunga
Who can forget Carl’s story-telling about the time he was a looper for the Dali Lama… “So, I’m on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one – big hitter, the Lama – long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do […]
Unwanted Attention
With the rapid and overwhelming popularity of Chainsaw Chicken emerging throughout the Western World, there are bound to be imposters, fakes, impersonators, body doubles, doppelgangers, clones and mimics. Here is an example that simply numbs the mind. Chainsaw stated, when viewing this photo, “OMG! I’d never wear a partial grass skirt while doing this. How […]
Dad’s Aunt’s
I tell ya, I was really confused growing up because of dad’s family. With all his family members running in and out of the house, but not all the time. I remember one time mom flew home to see grandma Bubbles (on a plane…stupid!) Any way, the whole time she was away and I mean […]
The Emu is OUT!
That’s right! The Emu is gone. “We’re tired of chasing that stupid angry bird all over the studio lot” said the production manager of those ongoing Liberty Mutual commercials. “We need something more manageable”. Time for nephew Tab Chicken to step in. Tab is a struggling print model that was told at a young age […]
Steamed Tenders
New Years Resolution in action! Chainsaw and his twin sisters, Lavern and Shirley, have pledged that this year they are going to do what it takes to lose those unwanted extra Covid-19 pounds. Like the commercials say, our work is just too close to the refrigerator, or in our case to close to the grain […]
Say the Magic Word
“Say the magic word and win $100 dollars” Famous words always announced by Groucho Marx as he began his show ‘You bet your life’. Back in the ’50’s when his program was so popular, there was bonus when someone said whatever the selected “magic word” was in conversation, then a bird would drop. What bird? […]
New Sponsorship
It is with pride that Chainsaw Chicken announces that he has been selected to be the on screen and on web video spokesman- – – ah spokesperson? No it would be , ah… spokes guy, Naw… Wrong pronoun. How about just representative? Ok… Again It is with pride… wait… can I say pride? That conjures […]
My X-Ray Specs Arrived
Not sure what the reason was that my order took so long, but guess what showed up today in my mail? That’s right! My X-ray specs. I mailed off for these back in 1962 from the back of my latest issue of True Love Magazine. Seen here is Mrs. Chicken posing in her flimsy burnoose […]
Keep Your Balance
In an effort to not be outdone by the public display of Harry Houdini hanging from a few floors up and slithering from his straight jacket, the Three Chicatello Brothers (they were not actually brothers but rather three frustrated iron workers stripping down to their shorts) and playing around on their lunch break. They performed […]
Yosemite Duffy
Warner Brothers cartoon character called ‘Yosemite Sam’ was based on my dear old mother’s brother, Dufmeyer Chicken. “People call me Yosemite Duffy and I’ve never even been near the place. Never been west of Missouri” he stated to anyone that might listen. In 1969 he sued Warner Brothers because of the use of his likeness […]
Mighty Team of Huskys
Preparing for the Iditarod Sled Dog Race, an annual dog sled race run in March between Anchorage and Nome, Alaska, Chainsaw trains his three dog team. The race can attract more than 100 participants and their teams of dogs, and mushers to compete together. The current race is about 1100 mile long. The sled is […]