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Enter the Chicken

Enter the Chicken

Bruce Lee’s breakout international hit “Enter the Dragon” was originally the story of a young-adult Chainsaw Chicken as he perfected his martial art style of  ‘The Drunken Chicken’. This fighting style began at ‘Suzi’s Fortune Cookie and Spirits’ in Omaha, Nebraska in 1981. Chainsaw’s style and acting talents coupled with the ritual of two parts […]

Breaking News on John!

Breaking News on John!

Chainsaw Chicken scoops again. Here is a first that others have whispered about for years. This is an unaltered photo of John Travolta in a somewhat embarrassing moment. Chainsaw Chicken is at a loss for words except “Mista Kotta …Mista Kotta … It’s me! Vinny Barbarino… Up ya nose with a rubba hose.”     […]

It’s WAR!

It’s WAR!

Back in 1980 Chainsaw paid good money to have him ‘rubbed out’. Colonel Harland David Sanders, founder of that franchise of horror, Kentucky Fried Cousins or also known as KFC was an evil monster of a man that took pride in the way he would slaughter innocents. “He was the Ed Gein of the restaurant […]

With Batman & Spock

With Batman & Spock

“Holy Snare Drum! It’s Mr.Spock and Batman”… and they have both worked their way on stage as my band from 1965 called “The Feather Dusters” takes a break during a live recording at the famous ‘Whisky A Go Go’ in West Hollywood. Adam West’s TV show ‘Batman’ was showing twice a week with sky-high ratings. […]

New Bond Movie Release

New Bond Movie Release

Watch for Chainsaw Chicken in the parade scene in the new James Bond movie ‘Spectre’. He even received a close-up. Mrs. Chicken was up for a Bond Girl part but refused to “Loose da featha’s, sweetee”.       007’s DB-5 Is Back

PRIVATE Erik Lessons

PRIVATE Erik Lessons

As a young child, Chainsaw Chicken did a home study coarse on Liturgical dance. He had the notion that as an adult he would enter the famous School of Dance in Bakersfield, California, created by Erik Estrada from ‘Chips’ fame. Then it was on to ‘Dancing with the Stars’.

Funky Chicken and Bongos

Funky Chicken and Bongos

Back in 1999, Matthew McConaughey was arrested after police discovered him dancing naked doing the funky chicken and playing bongos in his Austin home with a male friend. Upon searching the home, police discovered that they had been smoking a dried plant substance that later was tested and identified to be buckwheat. Today, Matthew and […]

Where’s Your Curtsy?

Where’s Your Curtsy?

Webster says ‘Curtsy … a formal way of greeting an important person in which a woman shows respect by placing one foot slightly behind the other and bending her knees.’ However Mrs. Chainsaw Chicken did not hold this faux pas against the Queen when the Queen failed to preform this gesture. Mr. Chainsaw Chicken found […]

Caitlyn is His Girl

Caitlyn is His Girl

Word leaked out today that Chainsaw Chicken and Caitlyn Jenner are involved in a “special” connection that has been brooding since her change from Bruce to her current identity. There has been no formal announcement as to the actual disposition of this union. When contacted, there was no reply from the Jenner representatives. The only […]

Stay Off A My Boots

Stay Off A My Boots

After six months of basic training, Chainsaw Chicken sailed to Europe on the USS General Randall. For the next 18 months, he served in Company D, 32nd Tank Battalion, 3rd Armor Corps in Friedberg, Germany, along with Elvis Presley, where they both attained the rank of sergeant. Not being forced to kitchen duties for obvious […]

Shipping Out -Stood Up

Shipping Out -Stood Up

There was a photograph taken and printed in the local paper of our neighbor, Buck Cluck, when he was shipping out from the port of Tuscaloosa where he shipped out to fight the Fascist regimes of the Axis Power in June of 1943. He was able to find a porthole and worked his head out […]

I Won’t Watch So Much

I Won’t Watch So Much

Junior Chicken, a Freshman at Rosa Caesar JFK King High School in Paduka, Iowa really got in trouble today. He was being punished for expressing what he thought was a compliment to a fellow female student new to the school. The new girl was big for her age which is nothing new with girls and […]

‘Alaskan Bush People’

‘Alaskan Bush People’

Say what?  The famous “Alaskan Bush People” family dropped a shocking bombshell that has many wondering: Do the Browns have a secret daughter? Billy and Ami Brown caught viewers off-guard in the final seconds of the Season 4 preview. “30 years. We’ve heard nothing from her,” Billy said. “I’ve never forgotten her,” adds his wife, […]

CC to Replace Kelly Ripa

CC to Replace Kelly Ripa

An Announcement that stunned the morning entertainment world was released today. Chainsaw Chicken witll be replacing Kelly Ripa on “Live”. The morning talk show was made famous by Regis Francis Xavier Philbin and Kathie Lee Gifford (1985-2000). A tantrum has been brewing between the current hosts, Kelly Ripa and Michael Strahan. Rather than giving into […]

My Secret Hero

My Secret Hero

Ever since I saw the movie ‘Bobbie Jo and the Outlaw’ (Watch the high speed copy) where Linda Carter ushers in her fine looking. Ah…career.  Yeah, acting skills. Then came Wonder Woman. My heart was captured. If she wrapped me with her lariat of truth I would have to confess it in glowing pronouns. I […]

Ho Hum, Nothing To Wear

Ho Hum, Nothing To Wear

After I heard that Kim Kardashian was complaining that she had nothing to wear, and that an image posted was nearly bringing down the internet, I felt it was my job to step in. Just as she was taking this subsequent image I was about to suggest a few ideas for her but I had […]

Double For Shatner

Double For Shatner

Working for DesiLu Studios under contract gave Routy Chicken (my uncle’s half-brother) many chances to work with television series stars of the 60’s. Once he was in a fist fight in Miss Kitty’s saloon, ‘the Long Branch” on ‘Gunsmoke’ and later that week he played a one-eyed giant alien in ‘Lost in Space’. But this […]

Over Troubled Waters

Over Troubled Waters

Early in the 70’s, my brother-in-law, Paisley Chicken wrote and performed in a duo call ‘Paisley and Garfunkel’. The big song was “Freeway Over Troubled Waters” performed for the first time in public at an art exhibit of an Andy Warhol painting attended by the Broadway director Neil Simon.The song played was about the troubles […]