All the movies about “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” were based on actual acts by Chainsaw Chicken. His therapy treatment was successful and the threat to the general population has been greatly reduced now that he is on parole and being forced to participate in chemical treatments. Reeducation Camps Begin
Eddie’s Security
Comedian and first-rate actor Eddie Murphy sits calmly next to Chainsaw Chicken who is like a coiled spring ready to lash out, pretending to be sleeping for 8 to 12 hours a day, luring assailants, then putting himself between Eddie and any unforeseen trouble. Stress is always high because of Mr. Murphy’s ever increasing popularity. […]
‘Eyes Wide Shut’
When Stanley Kubrick was scouting for the occult ritual enjoyed by the rich dedicated sycophants, he and his scouting team where allowed to observe a private rite where the leader of this cult would select compliant and willing members to roam within the mist of the incense and noxious fumes. The list of members attending, […]
New Season of N&A
Watch for the new season of Naked and Afraid starting next Sunday at 8.PM. This seasons opener features Chainsaw Chicken dropped onto a tropical island with Yoko Ono. Watch as they make friends, then clash fiercely and finally smooth out their pairing when Yoko decides she will break her fast with a total poultry diet […]
Remember ‘Super Chicken’?
Do you remember the T.V. series from the 1990’s called “Super Chicken”? You are looking at a photo taken from the HBO special ‘Plucked’. Seen here is Chainsaw Chicken in costume for his series that was seen on Sunday’s 8:30 on the WB. Chainsaw Chicken was forced to room with someone from craft services until […]
CC Gets his Star!
Chainsaw Chicken was recently honored by the Film Actors Guild (FAG) and awarded a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. “It was such a honor to be selected” he stated at his press meeting. Chainsaw’s star is placed near the front doors of the business’ “Fredrick’s of Hollywood” and the adult video Arcade “The […]
Like Warm Cake!
That’s how Nova described the feeling of ‘going to second base’ at least in the first working title of the movie ‘American MILF’ later changed to ‘American Pie’. In fact, an entire second unit was used to film an alternative movie, staring Chainsaw Chicken (known as Johnny Longbow). The film later entered the soft-core market […]
Chicken-Fest 2018
Chainsaw Chicken-Fest 2018 took place with many top rated bands. Bands performing many hits from the 50’s. through the present. Music included the following; Zac Brown Band played ‘Chicken Fried’, The Lost Trailers played ‘Chicken Fried Feet’ , Cowboy Troy played ‘I Played Chicken With The Train’, The Voice Of Harlem played .Chicken Noodle Soup’, […]
Bare Back Mountain?
Chainsaw Chicken replaced Jake Gyllenhaal in the Swahili version of Brokeback Mountain called “Kuvunja nyuma Kuku Hill”. Chaingun Chicken
Slim Whitman Remixed
“When I’m calling yooooooOOOOoooOOOoOOOO… You’ll be calling me, toooooooOOOoooOOoooo…” Ah yes, remember that stirring sound made so popular at all your favorite watering holes, lounges, casino bars and many truck stops? And that tragic year of 2013? Slim yodeled his way to his heavenly host and that meant that the world had lost their favorite […]
Before Sonny & Cher…
Yes, before there was Sonny and Cher, there was ‘Mavet and Cher’. They had a moderate career in the Haight-Ashbury district in San Francisco. When Mavet learned that his stage name meant ‘death’ in Hebrew, he decided to use his actual name being Mortimer Chicken. But Mortimer and Cher as a stage name didn’t fly […]
007’s DB-5 Is Back
After the scene where this beautiful car is destroyed in the previous Bond movie ‘Skyfall’, Chainsaw Chicken purchased the salvage rights to the heap. A little bubblegum and bailing wire later and ‘voila’ he had his own DB-5. Unfortunately, he did not realize that the car they destroyed in the movie was the frame of […]
Sheen Announcement
Chainsaw Chicken announced today that he was informed by Charlie Sheen of his HIV status before they engaged in any consensual relationship. Chainsaw Chicken added that he demanded that they wash hands several times each day and that they wear protective footwear. Truth is, we shared several ‘chick’s’. Epstein’s Other Painting
Lessons to my Gina
Starlet Gina Lollobrigida as she became a world wide sensation. Her sexy pout you see here was a special act Chainsaw Coached her to use. As time went on they later became engaged and it went all the way to the that final day at the alter but when Chainsaw Chicken learned that she had […]
Yuckin’ it up with Chevy
Originally cast as Judge Elihu Smails, Chainsaw Chicken had a very open and progressive bond and ‘bromance’ with Chevy Chase. It was Chainsaw’s idea to do ‘Groundhog Day’ and he brought it to Chevy but Chevy passed on it in order to do his ill-fated talk show. Bill Murry then accepted the part and the […]
Happy Birthday, Mr. Chicken
This is a covert photo of Chainsaw Chicken and Marilyn Monroe in a private room after she gave President Kennedy her now famous ‘cat-call’ birthday rendition of the children classic song, which she sang at his birthday party in 1961. Later, she was disappointed to learn how roosters approach love-making in an entirely different way […]
BREAKING NEWS
This Just In… In a stunning situation reversal, porn has-been Stormy Daniels is denying the reports that she would not accept $130 to have a one-night stand with history revisionist Chainsaw Chicken. Details remain blurry but Chainsaw Chicken’s attorney, Cluck Bones, had his office, home and coop raided by authorities to try to link this […]
‘Chuck Atlas’ Chicken
Many of us grew up seeing ads similar to this one on the back or inside pages of comic books and teen magazines. If you could dig one up and take another look at it you would see that it was Chainsaw ‘Chuck Atlas’ Chicken pumping his guns on the bright yellow background. Go take […]
G.O.T. Has Open Call
HBO announced that the filming of the next season of ‘Game of Thrones‘ with be done with a twist. This season there will be an open call for new characters to add to the ongoing story line. So get your theme and costume ready! Appear at the HBO studios, make your impression with the producers […]
Enter the Chicken
Bruce Lee’s breakout international hit “Enter the Dragon” was originally the story of a young-adult Chainsaw Chicken as he perfected his martial art style of ‘The Drunken Chicken’. This fighting style began at ‘Suzi’s Fortune Cookie and Spirits’ in Omaha, Nebraska in 1981. Chainsaw’s style and acting talents coupled with the ritual of two parts […]