That’s right! The Emu is gone. “We’re tired of chasing that stupid angry bird all over the studio lot” said the production manager of those ongoing Liberty Mutual commercials. “We need something more manageable”. Time for nephew Tab Chicken to step in. Tab is a struggling print model that was told at a young age […]
According to Whoopie
Last week, Chainsaw’s aunt, Ilean (not his Chinese aunt Irean) was in the hot seat as a guest on The View. In a moment of superiority and total authority, Whoopi Goldberg said that Joe Biden should appoint his wife Dr. Jill Biden Surgeon General. Whopie continued. “She’s a hell of a doctor”. “I’m hoping Dr. […]
Say the Magic Word
“Say the magic word and win $100 dollars” Famous words always announced by Groucho Marx as he began his show ‘You bet your life’. Back in the ’50’s when his program was so popular, there was bonus when someone said whatever the selected “magic word” was in conversation, then a bird would drop. What bird? […]
Tom Buys Chickens
Tom Cruise has shelled out “huge sums” for two high-tech robots to enforce coronavirus safety protocols on the set of “Mission: Impossible 7” – and also administer spot tests to the crew, according to a report. These robots were purchased from ArmorGallus, LLC (a sub-division of Chainsaw Chicken International, Ltd.). These are non-lethal versions of […]
New Sponsorship
It is with pride that Chainsaw Chicken announces that he has been selected to be the on screen and on web video spokesman- – – ah spokesperson? No it would be , ah… spokes guy, Naw… Wrong pronoun. How about just representative? Ok… Again It is with pride… wait… can I say pride? That conjures […]
Kung Poo
Kung Poo Chicken, the Legend Continues. Few have not heard of the easy spirited, soft-spoken, peace-loving Shaolin monk named Kwai Chang Caine, traveling through the Old West. The show made famous in the 70’s was based on the journaled writings of the real Kung Poo Chicken. Translated from traditional Chinese to Hebrew by a wandering […]
The Batman Movie
With the disrupted filming schedule affecting many movies caught amidst the Covid-19 pandemic, Chainsaw reminded the Hollywood Studios that they already have ‘in the can’ the complete 1940 Batman movie made after the debut of May, 1939 Detective Comics featuring “the Batman”. This 5 reel movie was shot in the gritty backwash’s of San Pietro […]
The Lone Chicken
When the television series ‘The Lone Ranger’ went from black and white to color starting in 1957, things were going great for Clayton Moore. He was a great replacement for John Hart, who left the series because of some private reasons. Jay Silverheels seemed to be the quintessential Tonto his sidekick. However, in the third […]
Stop the Sandwich Wars!
No… Not the South Sandwich Islands off the coast of Argentina. It’s an advertised slaughter! Shame on McDonald’s, Burger King, Wendy’s, Chick-fil-A and the self-proclaimed winner, Popeye’s Famous Fried Cousins. The Batman Movie
Here it is…
‘Here it is… It’s no big deal’ Those famous lines Bill stated in Caddyshack were memorable and very humorous. But where did they come from? The answer came from an event when Chainsaw was actually a waiter at Woodbush Gentleman’s Club. Woodbush was one of nine shops in a chain of adult stores/clubs/booths throughout the […]
Clint’s a Big Fan
Back in the early 70’s I bumped into Clint at a film reunion for the first movie he received his first screen credit in Hollywood. That;s right! The movie was the “Tarantula” one of 4 movies he did that year along with “Revenge of the Creature”. Anyway, as we were riding the elevator to the […]
你要知道 Hunter…
你要知道 is tranlated from Chinese to English as “You must know”. And Hunter, you must know we need to keep your laptop from becoming available to the public. Oh, your cigarette is out… Let me fire you up. Anyway, the deals I have orchestrated here in this province must not get out to the public. […]
Alec’s Wing Hold
Chainsaw simply has no tack. He went right up to Mr. Baldwin and asked him about his Spanish wife ‘Hilarious’ and the questions about the authenticity of her claims of being from the Mallorca. Well, Alec took it all wrong (again) and showed Chainsaw his new restraint hold he learned in his Combat Tai bo […]
Mandalorian Replacement
With the massive interest in the “baby yoda” character from the popular Star Wars spin-off, “The Mandalorian”, production of Season 3 was halted when an injunction was filed again Disney by the trustees of the muppet creators, Frank Oz Trust Corp because of alleged copyright infringement. Their point in the suit is that “Star Wars/Disney […]
Marshall Lucky Used Cars
Marshal Chic Lucky here for New Deal used cars. Where we’re battling inflation not only by fighting high prices not only by murdering high prices but by blowing the living cluck out of high prices! Yes sir! You heard me right. Now here’s an example,,, Let’s say you are looking for a 1973 Cadillac Coupe […]
G’ma’s Photo Album
Watching all those family get together commercials kinda got me reminiscing. So I drove over to Grandma ‘Bubbles’ Chicken home and sat her down on the couch. “Dear Grandma Bubbles” I said, “I want to just chat with you about your life, before Gramps, say back in high school. Can we take a stroll down […]
Listen to me, Kid!
“Shut up and listen!” shouted Mortimer Chickmeier. “Get that cowboy crap out of your head”. “Yeah, but Morti, I mean,… ah, what about ‘Cheyenne’, ‘Sugarfoot’, ‘Maverick’, ‘Wagon Train’, ‘Colt .45’, ‘Wyatt Earp’, ‘Wanted – Dead or Alive’, ‘Bonanza’, ‘The Rifleman’, ‘Laramie’, ‘The Big Valley’, ‘Have Gun will Travel’ and then there’s ‘Gun Smoke’. They’ve been […]
Chickenator
In a new move to revitalize the creative ideas in the film industry, rather than simply remaking older successful movies (now days called a reboot), a new treatment is getting attention. Chainsaw Chicken is proposing blending two characters of movie fame. In this case, it is Conan the Barbarian with the Terminator, an indestructible cyborg-assassin. […]
New Avatar Movies
The filming is continuing on the three sequel movies from the blockbuster original “Avatar“. Chainsaw Chicken has been selected to replaced Sam Worthington to help hold down the $Billions of dollars being spent on primary cast members. “Chainsaw Chicken works for ‘chicken feed’ compared to “Sammy” boast James Cameron. He continued…”I mean, a buck is […]
Big Chicken before…
First it was Big Chicken before Big Bird. Big Chicken was an original character on the children’s television show, Sesame Street. Officially performed by Chainsaw Chicken since 1969. He is an 6-foot two-inch tall, bright primrose-yellow chicken that children were fascinated by. He can roller skate, ice skate, dance, sing, write poetry, draw, and even […]