I got….The Call… There I was, simply making a box of macaroni and cheese for lunch. Unexpectedly, the phone rang. I put down my wooden spoon and turned down the heat to bring my noodles to simmer for the perfect al dente . I reached over the counter and picked up the receiver. “Hello?…” I […]
Patient Zero Monkeypox
The World Health Organization believes they have identified the primary vector showing patient zero with monkeypox in the latest outbreak. Sergey ‘Serg’ Chicken is seen here with his long time companion monkey named ‘Cheesecake’ standing in front of the original headquarters of Google. At that time, Google was a struggling vegetable and fruit store with […]
Freud’s Aura Sculpted
Art and science grew greatly after the turn of 1900’s. Both of these worlds would seem to develop new styles or themes that others might harness and develop. Rarely did the two collide. One of the few examples was when Oscar Chicken was able to convince Sigmund Freud to have his Aura sculpted subtractively. In […]
Classic Chicken Theater
Welcome to Classic Chicken Theater Playhouse. This organization was founded by honored and awarded namesake, Chainsaw Chicken, to help others learn and shape their craft of classical acting. Chainsaw’s primary belief is that the actors need to take generally known plays and add challenges to the overall theme. All plays are done with the players […]
Bringing Back Walt
In a somewhat predictable move today, the largest minority share holders of Disney stock (DIS) have hired Dr. DeBakie Chicken to manage a controversial move. What move? It seems that this minority block has persuaded a Disney employee to remove the frozen head of Walt Disney from the cryogenic vault below Disneyland where the founders […]
“Looking at Uranus” Closes
“Looking at Uranus”, is a Broadway play based on the life of Astronomer William ‘Eggs’ Herschel, who discovered the planet Uranus in 1781. There was much anticipation for the opening of this period piece musical. In the light of the success of ‘Hamilton’, it seemed justified. While the major players were generally unknown, Chainsaw Chicken […]
Romper Room Romance
I always thought Miss Nancy never ‘smacked wise’ to my Romper Room Romance. I was a crafty devil with little Sara Leghorn. She was my very first, real life girlfriend. Our days on Romper Room went by with just a wiz of time. She sit there all pretty and calm. I would keep turning my […]
Shari Lewis & Cacciatore
After Shari Lewis (born Phyllis Naomi Hurwitz) did her guest appearance on the Captain Kangaroo Show, things really started to change. As a ventriloquist and puppeteer, she was making some more appearances on other shows such as Howdy Doody, Car 54-Where Are You?, The Man from U.N.C.L.E., and Love-American Style, talent agents suggested that she […]
Acoustic Genius
So many people know Chainsaw Chicken as a leader of his namesake company as well as a successful historian and editorial blogger. But now, to the surprise to some of his detractors, he is an accomplished acoustic genius. His talent is so vast and accomplished that he developed a special guitar with a second neck […]
You quarantined for me?
You went through quarantine for me? You sat in a windowless room, ate frozen TV dinners, showered 3 times a day, wore gloves and a mask 24 hours a day, used alcohol based scrubs on your hands once an hour – every hour – unless using the rest room, then once before you start and […]
Ombudsman Statement
“Let me introduce myself. My name is Theodor T. Turkey. You can call me Tom,… Tom Turkey. I am the required Ombudsman appointed by the Internet Counsel of Blogging Standards. Yes… We call it I.C.B.S. while some refer to us as I see Bull S*it.” “The typical duties of an ombudsman are to investigate complaints […]
500th Posting
That’s right folks! This is the 500th posting on our site. These 500 postings go all the way back to 2015. Back then, we used to post short captions like you would see on a comics page in the paper but I decided to gravitate to a long format in order to allow more of […]
Mass Baldwin Psychosis
Mass formation psychosis? What is it? Let me put it to you in the form a metaphor. Imagine you are in a theater audience about to enjoy a performance of some magician that is an Alec Baldwin doppelganger. As you sit in the audience, ‘The Great Alec’ began with some simple magic, like ‘rabbit in […]
psycho-anal-ass
My doctor suggested that we try a new style of mental therapy. I believe he said it is something like ‘psycho-anal-ass’. Never heard of it before. Sounds like there will be some very personal discussion. I remember that Alfred Hichcock movie ‘Psycho’. Creepy movie, for sure. But I don’t have my mother sitting in a […]
Lord of the dance
When Irish dancer Michael Flatley once said, “Everyone in the world will tell you, ‘No, it can’t be done.’ Every time I hear that, I know I’m close to success.” “That’s good enough for me” stated Chainsaw Chicken after playing a VHS tape of Lord of the Dance he found at a local garage sale. […]
Rescue Fortune Cookie
Have you seen this on the news? A rash of fortune cookies with a distressing message hidden inside. Hundreds of Chinese restaurants have tried to explain to their customers that this message must be some kind of joke. But the International Human Rights Commission thinks that it’s no joke. “When a customer at a restaurant […]
Nick-Chick Steps UP
In this Christmas season, My cousin, Nicolis Chicken steps up and becomes “Nick-Chick”. He’s a helper of good ‘ol Saint Nicholas. He heads off with presents for those who can use the help. This year, Nick-Chick is focusing on things that have been in short supply due to the Brandon Administration and their supposed ‘Bidenomics‘ […]
Enrollment Period – Again
I know you’ve noticed. Everyone see’s ’em. Several times a day and night various celebrities appear on a screen telling you it’s Enrollment Period – Again! These once famous personalities state that they can get you so many new benefits if you contact them for a free review. We’ve seen sports legends and old TV […]
People’s Choice Winner
With the lowest viewership ever recorded, it’s a safe bet to assume that you didn’t see I won my People’s Choice Award tonight. As I entered the lobby walking to the auditorium, there were no media hosts or even fans trying to get a snapshot. No interviews or even a question shouted. If fact, I […]
New Chainsaw 8-Ball
It’s about time. In an agreement with Mattel, Chainsaw has introduced a new version of their classic ‘Magic 8-Ball’. Many of us remember friends sitting around cross-legged in a circle. Each of us taking our turn asking the magic ball a deep and secret question out loud, then inverting the ball to see the answer […]