Russian interference has reared it’s ugly head again. Just as the Justice Department announced, like they did before the 2020 election, the threat is real again!

Somehow, Chainsaw Chicken International, Ltd has become involved in the meddling. This time, as a recipient of secret coded messages from the Motherland to agents here in America.

Using the highest available deciphering available, Chainsaw has received and translated the following secret message posted in the comment section of one of the hundreds of daily posts here at ChainsawChicken.com (because it is shadow banned by most search engines you can actually see it on AdventuresofChainsaChicken.com).

The message is as follows…”Как провести комплексную мойку автомобиля без воды, экспертное мнение. Комплексная автомойка цена”

But what does it mean?

An actual translation using the simplest google translator says that it means…”How to do a comprehensive car wash without water, expert opinion. Comprehensive car wash price“.

On the surface we know this is code for something else. No one can wash their car without water. That’s a scientific fact. A given. So what is afoot here?

Using the latest method of language cryptography, employing the the code technique call “the last soldier” where each verb followed by a pronoun, not capitalized is counted. Then using that number as a reference point. you deduct the total count of words divided by the time stamp of the message. Now smooth it all out into a randomized number of letters between 2 and 7, you get the following…

“Act now. Eat at Joseph’s, 4pm happy hour”