Harvard University has selected a man who does not believe in God to be the school’s chief chaplain. Chief Chaplain Epstein Chicken now serves as Harvard’s Humanist Chaplain. Also,the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) Humanist Chaplain, as well as Convener for Ethical Life at the MIT Office of Religious, Spiritual, and Ethical Life. “We don’t […]
Bridges over foamy waters
I’m reminded of the time I was at a country dance bar with Mrs. Chicken’s niece. We were dancing it up for hours and drinking the suds to keep cool and hydrated. Now, I know what you are thinking but it is all ‘platonic‘… really. We had one room but we each had a separate […]
Bigfoot Drumsticks
There was little press coverage when a coalition of photographic professionals from NASA as well as experts from Chainsaw Chicken International, LTD announced the results of a digital computerized study of the famous Roger Patterson image of Bigfoot taken on 1967 in Northern California. Recently, claims have been made that the encounter filmed was a […]
Don’t Blame Me
What more can be said? If you voted for me in your last election then you can proudly claim your innocence as everything starts to circle the drain like a discarded cigarette butt flushed in the toilet of the world economy. Get your flag proclaiming your foresight. Send a check in the amount of your […]
Stool Pigeon
They are after me! They are using any method they can to get me. Just like the Attorney General of New York has been quoted to say, “Show me the man, I’ll show you the crime!” This “Stool Pigeon” just kept spewing all kinds of indictments about me! I’ve heard he said things like; “He’s […]
Keep Calm Statue
This statue was brought to Britain 119 years ago. It was removed from display at Cambridge University in 2006 over a ‘racism’ claim. The bronze cockerel, was known as the Okukor. IN 2006, the College’s student union passed a motion. They insisted it should be returned to present day Nigeria after they claimed British troops […]
Gain of Function
With all the talk of ‘Gain of Function” discussion going on, the world has learned a few new and startling facts. While visiting the other food market in Wuhan, China, called the ‘Moist Store’, similar to the infamous ‘Wet Market’, Chainsaw Chicken was approached by representatives of The Wuhan Institute of Virology to participate in […]
Do the Chicken Dance
Chicken Dance The “Chicken Dance”, also known as the Bird Song, the Birdie Song, the Bird Dance or the Chicken Song, is an oom-pah song; its associated fad dance is now a contemporary dance throughout the Western world. The song was composed by accordion player Werner Thomas from Davos, Switzerland, in the 1950s. […]
CDC “Don’t Kiss Chickens”
The CDC warned that poultry owners should take special precautions when handling their animals after 163 confirmed cases of salmonella were reported in 43 states. “Don’t kiss or snuggle backyard poultry, and don’t eat or drink around them.” That does it! Do I tell Dr. Rochelle Walensky who she gets to make out with? Does […]
Klaatu Barada Nikto
With all the news cropping up about UFOs and the video information ‘leaking’ to the National media, it’s time that I finally come clean and lay out the facts and truth as I know it. You can laugh, snicker or ignore this ever increasing event but it will be to your detriment. You see, I […]
And then, Cisgender
And then I got another message from my doctor. This time it was something called cisgender. Oh no. Not CISGENDER! Anything but THAT! But what is it? I quickly ordered the latest edition on woke-ism from Amazon, and with my Prime account I got it within 2 weeks. I immediately opened up to the “S” […]
Intersectionality Test
Woke affliction number 2; Then, the same doctor that said I had acquired impostor syndrome, sent me another message on his private medical site with results of some of my other tests. He said, “Intersectionality is an analytical framework for understanding how aspects of a person’s social and political identities combine to create different modes […]
I Got Impostor Syndrome
My first woke aliment: The diagnosis is in. I have a case of the most diagnosed social behavioral condition identified in the last year. The dreaded Impostor syndrome. My doctor sent me a message on his private client website saying the following: “Impostor syndrome is a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their skills, […]
Happy Mom’s Day!
Today we celebrate Mom’s everywhere. We collectively all celebrate the concept of ‘mothers’ and how we appreciate all their care, attention and loving in our lives. My mother is no exception. Sure, there are some mothers that may have been more care-givers, maybe more understanding, but none that were more affected by the results of […]
Defending My Title
Last week, Chainsaw Chicken successfully defended his North American Pickleball Championship title at the event named for him at the courts in the Pickleball Mega-center located in Hollywood Park, Florida. In this tournament, Chainsaw faced three different regional champs in a best of five play. A commemorative patch has been awarded to all participants in […]
Baron von Chickthofen
With the death of Manfred von Richthofen, known to the world as “The Red Baron”, Germany needed another hero. The shame of the ‘Red Baron’ being downed by some comic strip dog named ‘Snoopy’ flying his doghouse killing our best pilot and the world universally accepting this obvious propaganda plot required a desperate response. In […]
Ridin’ that Train
Many have heard the faithful tale of when, on April 30th, in 1900, at Vaughan, Mississippi, Casey Jones died while trying to slow down his train that crashed into another train, killing him but saving his passengers. Songs where sung and stories where told glorifying is exploits. Ever wonder who was the engineer on the […]
Lou with Chicken Warrior
Warrior Chicken is the name of a famous character from the era of the late ’70’s. His growing fan base was simply amazing. As the series “The Incredible Hulk” was beginning to really see sagging viewership, it was suggested by Bill Bixby that “maybe the hulk could join forces with Warrior Chicken in some crossover […]
Spare the Rod…
Spare the Rod…Spoil the child! That’s what Chainsaw’s step-father used to say at every opportunity he had to discipline me. Sure, there may have been things that Chainsaw did as a adolescent with a inquisitive nature. Generally behaviors like “Will this carpet burn if I use an iron on high and let it rest for […]
Reagan said it first
Do you remember when President Reagan said “”With all this manure,” the little boy replied, beaming, “there must be a pony in here somewhere!” Well, Phineas Chicken decided to check out this theory so he headed to D.C. in the hopes of finding a pile of manure. Where else would expect to find a vast […]