Since Chainsaw announced his intentions to replace Newsom as Governor of California, everybody and their neighbor have signed up as well. From transsexuals to talk show hosts, the field suddenly became rather crowded and Chainsaw soon realized that he had not caught the eye of the voting electorate or the mega press. Then a wonderful […]
We LOVE Him
It was bound to happen. I guess it was inevitable. These nuts come out of the woodwork and try to claim their 15 mins of fame latching on to someone who is highly respectable, noteworthy and adored by others in a drastic attempt to get their attention. But this guy lowers the bar to an […]
Chick Kopi Luwak
Have you heard of Kopi Luwak coffee? Sure you have. It’s the coffee beans that originated in a coffee berry that monkeys and critters eat, then they poop in out. The beans are harvested from their excrement, washed and sold for as much as $1600 a pound. Well, Chainsaw Chicken saw an opportunity just waiting […]
We play Gov and Assistant
Mrs. Chicken and I need to thank you, Governor Cuomo. You have brought something special into our marriage without you even knowing us. Last week I was sitting on the couch with Mrs. Chicken when she put her arm around my shoulders. I told her “that was no way to treat the Governor of this […]
Suck it up!
As we continually keep being reminded, equity is universal. We need to have equity! Remember, we all need to have equity. But also remember, some of us have more equity in things than others. Get used to it. “You can’t let all of us have the same equity. When you look at all the homes […]
More Infringement
Another ‘compliment’ to the name of Chainsaw Chicken. In fact, they stole the name from a famous t-shirt we offered first back in 2017 and again in an entry on this site in 2019. I can’t tell you how ‘thrilled’ I am about this punk rock band choosing to ignore copyright law just so they […]
I can do it better, Hunter!
“I am asking $2 Million for this one. I put a lot of work on this piece. Look at the technique! The media! I’m not blowing spit through a straw. This is paint! And look, I’m using a chicken foot for a brush!” proclaimed by my cousin Vincent Van Chick. “I’ve messaged Miss Kamakazi… no… […]
My Obama B-day Invite
I am so disappointed! My invitation to Barrack’s 60th birthday bash did not arrive in time for me to attend! It would have been nice if they would have put some actual postage on the damn envelope! Here I am, getting this on the day of his party. I was all prepared with a gift […]
Hard Scrabble Joey
My daddy once lost his job and when he came home, thew his lunch box on the kitchen table and said “Joey…” (I don’t know why he called me Joey, my name is Chainsaw), “I mean… Look, I’m not kidding, really…” His conversation dwindled off…. “Yes Dad? What?” I asked. He suddenly sprang to life […]
Mech-Chicken 2021
Chainsaw Chicken was happy to take possession of a new prototype Artificial Intelligence equipped robot from MIT. The A.I. department has dubbed it “Mech-Chicken”. Mrs. Chicken, was visibly pleased saying, “Oh my word:. Do I have plans for you!” Transhumanism for me!
Sacrifice event
I found this photo in the back room at the community hall where I sometimes visit. There it was. It was all framed and hanging on the wall but obscured behind a bookshelf.. I took it down and went to the Grand Poobah to find out what it was from. “Your Majesty, Chainsaw requests a […]
So what… I slipped!
Did you see this on NBC’s coverage of the 2020/2021 summer 0lympics? Probably not. Let me recap it for you. The scene opens with a morning shot of Mt. Fuji overlooking the Olympic village. Then dissolves to the view of the platform driving structures. “Hello Everyone! Ralph Murdock here. We take you to the 7 […]
Woke Olympic Event
Each cycle of Olympic games brings a new series of events that reflects trends, positions, and demands that corporate sponsors want to add to broaden the total events. This year, the highly anticipated event was added to the floor exercises under gymnastics. It is the Trans-Bisexual-Crossdressing Exhibition LGBTQ-xyz Drama brought to life on the gymnastic […]
Olympic Chicktopian
At the last minute, the International Olympic Community, IOC, has accepted the sports group called Chicktopia. This group is an organization of fellow relatives of Chainsaw Chicken. Watch for their members participating in gymnastics, diving, track and field and other events. “We owe the pressure on the IOC from Dr. Jill ‘Kildare‘ Biden. With out […]
Is it a compliment?
Oscar Wilde famously said, “Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery that mediocrity can pay to greatness.” The first part of that quote is popular but the latter is more fitting. The list of others trying to leverage the name “Chainsaw Chicken” is growing. With the popularity of my site and the ignorance of others […]
“Eat it, Jeff” launch ready
Doesn’t everyone have their own rocket ship, like Richard Branson, Jeff Bazos and myself? If you find that you don’t have your own rocket and you have a overwhelming desire to go to space, you don’t have to pay half a million for a seat. Not near that amount. Only $999.95 or $19 dollars a […]
Crime Out of Control
Crime is out of control. Look at the latest tragedy. One of my dear sweet cousins joined the ranks of the cult-like, ritualistic slaughter of chicken for this summer. My cousin was so consumed by the heat of the flames that all distinguishing traits were destroyed. We can’t even tell the sex. “This will probably […]
Big Deal, Zuck!
Many of you saw the nation-wide coverage of Ol’ Zuck balancing on his multi thousand dollar electric foil surf board waiving Old Glory. Supposedly happening on the 4th of July, in a publicity stunt meant to re-affirm his patriotic intent for his company and all it stands for to the U.S of A. Not shown […]
Happy 4th of July!
Happy 4th of July! God Bless America from the Chainsaw Chicken family! In just about any other country, I would be drawn and quartered and given to KFC but here, I can say the truth about things and tell it like it really happens. Even if the head man wears aviator glasses or has an […]
Evolution Disturbed
Scientist and evolutionist were elated when they heard that a huge block of ice was discovered that encased a prehistoric cave man. It was found at the foot of the glacier out-cropping near Yellowstone Park. Just as suddenly they were mystified and dismayed when they learned that the totally preserved, fully encased body was apparently […]