My doctor suggested that we try a new style of mental therapy. I believe he said it is something like ‘psycho-anal-ass’. Never heard of it before. Sounds like there will be some very personal discussion. I remember that Alfred Hichcock movie ‘Psycho’. Creepy movie, for sure. But I don’t have my mother sitting in a […]
The Real Billy Jack
Some of you may have heard the name Billy Jack. There may be a few of you that suffered through the series of movies created leveraging the name Billy Jack. But who was Billy Jack? There are some that claim he was a half-breed Navajo and German vagrant, discharged from an elite military unit defending […]
He’s a Quack!
“Good morning… Mr…uhhh… Chicken. What brings you in today?” questioned the ‘on call’ doctor . “Well Doc,” Chainsaw began to speak as he rested on the paper covered exam table. “It’s like this. For the last several days I have been feeling like my gizzard in out of whack. It’s not working as it should.” […]
Lord of the dance
When Irish dancer Michael Flatley once said, “Everyone in the world will tell you, ‘No, it can’t be done.’ Every time I hear that, I know I’m close to success.” “That’s good enough for me” stated Chainsaw Chicken after playing a VHS tape of Lord of the Dance he found at a local garage sale. […]
New Psychic Network
I’m sure you’ve seen the billboards and late night TV commercials for the New Psychic Network. Chainsaw launched a new enterprise this year because of all the unpredictable things happening to everyone. Now, you can give Chainsaw a visit to put those important matters to rest. You can walk away confidently knowing you have all […]
Pre-Havana Syndrome
Chainsaw was suffering from a typical headache. He had them most of his life. As he leaned back in his easy chair and tried to relax, his thoughts went back to that old black and white T.V. commercial for Anacin Aspirin. He remembered watching them as a kid always seeing it while watching “Voyage to […]
Rescue Fortune Cookie
Have you seen this on the news? A rash of fortune cookies with a distressing message hidden inside. Hundreds of Chinese restaurants have tried to explain to their customers that this message must be some kind of joke. But the International Human Rights Commission thinks that it’s no joke. “When a customer at a restaurant […]
Like my Christmas lights?
Hey! How they hangin’? I’m talkin’ about my Christmas lights? They look so much better with the lights off inside my house. I kinda like the inside lights off at night. I can watch the neighbors house or the people strolling down the sidewalk. It’s as though I am invisible. They might be creeped out […]
Nick-Chick Steps UP
In this Christmas season, My cousin, Nicolis Chicken steps up and becomes “Nick-Chick”. He’s a helper of good ‘ol Saint Nicholas. He heads off with presents for those who can use the help. This year, Nick-Chick is focusing on things that have been in short supply due to the Brandon Administration and their supposed ‘Bidenomics‘ […]
I am so offended!
Yes… Very offended! How do I get the cancel culture to respond to this horrible attack on my person with this hideous song propagated on YouTube? Oh, if this was about some Chicken that was sexually fluid or had crossed into the United States by illegal means they would be covering the story on all […]
Enrollment Period – Again
I know you’ve noticed. Everyone see’s ’em. Several times a day and night various celebrities appear on a screen telling you it’s Enrollment Period – Again! These once famous personalities state that they can get you so many new benefits if you contact them for a free review. We’ve seen sports legends and old TV […]
Ice Skating Sweetheart
Despite the new Olympic boycott of U.S. diplomats, Ice Skating Sweetheart, Tonya Chicken, prepares for her debut in Beijing Olympics. Mrs. Chicken is so proud of her niece qualifying for the individual trophy in ice dancing. Traditionally, ice dancing is done in pairs. This is a new event for the Winter Olympics. Each four years […]
People’s Choice Winner
With the lowest viewership ever recorded, it’s a safe bet to assume that you didn’t see I won my People’s Choice Award tonight. As I entered the lobby walking to the auditorium, there were no media hosts or even fans trying to get a snapshot. No interviews or even a question shouted. If fact, I […]
VP Voodoo Doll Video
My nephew Chucky Chicken was one of those easy going types. He can change his appearance of thoughts or opinions depending on whomever he is talking with. He’s really developed it into an art. So much so that he was able to waltz his way into the Biden White house administration. Specifically, he is a […]
Crossing State Lines
He’s crossing State lines! Yes! Chainsaw is crossing State lines! Quick! Call the alphabet media! You have trouble watching any news broadcast that doesn’t seem to include that line. Especially when it’s about something linked to an opposing political point of view. But as Chainsaw points out, what if we applied this standard to other […]
Biden Medical Video Leaked
In a unexpected mysterious event, President Joe Biden’s Colonoscopy video was leaked today. Rumor has it that it this my have come from the Vice President’s office in retaliation to the negative press leaked to CNN regarding the feud between the two office holders may be having. While recording the video procedure is nothing new, […]
New Chainsaw 8-Ball
It’s about time. In an agreement with Mattel, Chainsaw has introduced a new version of their classic ‘Magic 8-Ball’. Many of us remember friends sitting around cross-legged in a circle. Each of us taking our turn asking the magic ball a deep and secret question out loud, then inverting the ball to see the answer […]
Jimmy is so happy
My cousin Jimmy Chicken was so happy that he was able to have some private moments with the 39th President, Jimmy Carter. Here’s a transcript of the meeting. Jimmy Chicken said to the President, “Hello, Mr. President. I really, really appreciate you allowing me to chat with you for a few minutes”. “It is my […]
The transcendental chicken
♫ Hare Krishna ♫ Hare Krishna ♫ Krishna, Krishna ♫ Hare Hare… ‘Ching’ sounded the finger cymbals at the end of the chant. Mahavishnu Chicken closed his eyes, breathed in the incense smoke of sandalwood and chanted “Gunga galunga… Gunga, gunga-galunga”. ‘Ching-Ching” again chimed the cymbals. Mahavishnu Chicken continued to chant with expectations of connecting […]
New lobby sign
Following the lead of oh so many corporations and major businesses, Chainsaw Chicken International, Ltd has taken to updating and posting a new ‘credo’ that is a statement as to the beliefs held by the corporation. We place a very large framed poster welcoming all those that venture into the lobby of our web site. […]