Chief Heather Thong or Fong (left), is the first SFPD female, lesbian chief of police. Harry (next) is the first trans species detective formally a duck to a chicken. Theresa Sparks (center), a former male, is president of the San Francisco Police Commission, CEO of a multi-million dollar sex toy retailer offering a new “Dirty […]
El Pollo Comancheros
The Chicken Feathers Gang headed by “El Wapo Pollo Pluma” (great grandfather to Chainsaw Chicken) was a notorious southern border mercenary gang in the 1870’s. In fact, the popular belief that the movie Magnificent Seven was based on the Japanese story of the Seven Samuri’s is a misconception to some degree. Both stories are based […]
Early Chicken Worship
In the middle-ages, the early family of Chainsaw Chicken had followers that would dawn outfits made of hand sewn burlap and dried gourds to imitate his look. Thus capturing in their minds the powers and presence of their hero. Seen here is a early tin-type of a Chainsaw Chicken Chorus group chanting during the half-time […]
My New Girlfriend
Mrs. Chainsaw Chicken and I have what would be labeled as an ‘open relationship‘. More specifically, I have an open relationship, she is monogamous. But in my defense, I am a rooster… a MALE rooster. So there’s my excuse. I said all that to say this. Meet my girlfriend Shebooka. I playfully call her ‘She-Bazooka”. […]
G.O.T. Has Open Call
HBO announced that the filming of the next season of ‘Game of Thrones‘ with be done with a twist. This season there will be an open call for new characters to add to the ongoing story line. So get your theme and costume ready! Appear at the HBO studios, make your impression with the producers […]
Enter the Chicken
Bruce Lee’s breakout international hit “Enter the Dragon” was originally the story of a young-adult Chainsaw Chicken as he perfected his martial art style of ‘The Drunken Chicken’. This fighting style began at ‘Suzi’s Fortune Cookie and Spirits’ in Omaha, Nebraska in 1981. Chainsaw’s style and acting talents coupled with the ritual of two parts […]
Breaking News on John!
Chainsaw Chicken scoops again. Here is a first that others have whispered about for years. This is an unaltered photo of John Travolta in a somewhat embarrassing moment. Chainsaw Chicken is at a loss for words except “Mista Kotta …Mista Kotta … It’s me! Vinny Barbarino… Up ya nose with a rubba hose.” […]
A Disappearing Park
“Chopsticks” Chicken, an Asian 3rd cousin removed, was a honored and respected person within the Japanese culture in the 20’s and 30’s. He would run around and give money to random people daily. So regularly that people became used to his dispensing money. On a day when he ran out of money early, he coined […]
Arty Chicken, Spy Killer
There is a dark side to some of Chainsaw Chicken’s relatives. One had CIA assassin training during the cold war. Arty Chicken was a known double agent. He had arranged to go on a hunting trip with a Soviet agent and his handler. Arty was told by the ‘Agency’ that these two agents were to […]
Hey dude…!
What’s up!!!? How about getting a life? Chainsaw Chicken keeps running into the stereotypical actions of his grandson ‘Stoner” Chicken. Let’s see who can identify with these traits in your home? Wears only black t-shirts (usually rock bands that were popular when YOU were young but he thinks he has discovered them). Stays up until […]
The TIGHT Jacket
At one point in Chainsaw Chickens past, he suffered from bi-polar/dis-associative/anti-social/psychotic/borderline/OCD phobia. He is seen here under armed guard, in a straight jacket within a padded cell and under chemical castration. Cranial-Rectal Inversion
We Had a Warm Halloween
One of our favorite Halloween activities was to roast our candy…. Creepy, huh? Uncle Chuck’s ’65 Chevy Malibu was real easy to set a flame. Just a lite cigarette dropped on those cotton stuffed seats soaked in turpentine and …. “WOOOOSH!” Stanley was always a nut!
It’s WAR!
Back in 1980 Chainsaw paid good money to have him ‘rubbed out’. Colonel Harland David Sanders, founder of that franchise of horror, Kentucky Fried Cousins or also known as KFC was an evil monster of a man that took pride in the way he would slaughter innocents. “He was the Ed Gein of the restaurant […]
Takes Lickin, Keeps Tickin
June 30th, 1946 Able Atomic Test, Bikini Atoll. The military authorities and scientist had promised the Bikini Atoll native residents that they would be able to return home after the atomic tests. A majority of the islands family heads agreed to leave the island but not all of them. The outcast clan of the Fearless […]
‘Bacon’ Chicken
He was never mentioned much at family gatherings. No one seemed to really want anything to do with him. He was never at school events or family functions. Didn’t finish school. Didn’t even attend either of his parents funerals. He was a real a**hole. Every family seems to have one like him. Incidentally, he gained […]
Eclipse Horror
No matter how many times you hear about you need special glasses to look at the eclipsing sun… Someone thinks it doesn’t apply to him or her. My ‘brilliant’ brother-in-law, Andrew Leghorn was the one. Now blinded for life after gazing for an estimated 10 mins at the latest solar event. All I can say […]
Skull and Chicken Bones
Skull and Bones, a secret society at Yale University, added a new member, Chainsaw Chicken in October 1968. In November, 1971, this obsequious organization was supposedly disbanded. There is a hidden list which is kept at Yale’s library under a bookshelf with a false panel. In this list of notable ‘Bonesmen’, Chainsaw Chicken was a […]
Oppps… I Sharted
Billery
Billery is what they call the political married couple of Bill and Hilary. I am not sure if this is more for the cameras or for real. When she says “two heads are better than one”, I believe Bill is answering back subconsciously to himself ,”I always have heard that two head idiom but I […]
Struck Down
Oh, the humanity of it all! Not only was she struck down in her youth by an illegal immigrant driving under the influence of Colorado’s new Marijuana laws, but to then also be humiliated by having a highway Stripe-Painting truck spay over her broken body while in the throws of death. Now she has shed […]