As many of you Pro Football fans know, the Pro Draft was held and there were many upsets and shake ups in the process. One surprise was ‘Jock’ Chicken, player of the week in his hometown and honored by the local tractor retailer. His recognition earned him a fourth round future player-to-be-picked with a yet […]
Hydrotherapy Trials
Following the introduction of hydrotherapy to the U.S., John Harvey Kellogg employed its use at Battle Creek Sanitarium, which opened in 1866, where he strove to improve the scientific foundation for hydrotherapy for mentally ill patients. Quincy Hornblower Chicken, (no relation) was one of the first to be studied and attempt to receive a cure […]
Isolator in SAGA Magazine
The “Isolator” that was featured in an article from “Saga” Magazine was designed to help focus the mind when reading or writing, by rendering the wearer temporarily deaf. The Isolator would pump the wearer full of nitrous oxide (NO2 – also mistakenly call Laughing Gas), and eliminate all outside noise. The Isolator also isolates by […]
Double For Shatner
Working for DesiLu Studios under contract gave Routy Chicken (my uncle’s half-brother) many chances to work with television series stars of the 60’s. Once he was in a fist fight in Miss Kitty’s saloon, ‘the Long Branch” on ‘Gunsmoke’ and later that week he played a one-eyed giant alien in ‘Lost in Space’. But this […]
What Difference?
“What difference, at this point, does it make?” Ms. Hillary uttered those famous words when she was called before a Senate committee investigating the stand-down at Benghazi. I think she became confused and showed an indication of a length that DOES make a difference to her. She didn’t clarify what length of whatever she is […]
Sing Sing’s First Team
Pictured is the first organized prisoner league at Sing Sing Prison, Ossining, NY in 1903. Seen standing left to right; Hamilton Howard “Albert” Fish (the Werewolf of Wysteria), William Francis “Willie” Sutton, Jr., Richard Loeb, Albert DeSalvo, Father John “Batter up” Chicken, Joseph Druce. Seated left to right; Christopher Scarver, Francis “Two Gun” Crowley, Grover […]
Over Troubled Waters
Early in the 70’s, my brother-in-law, Paisley Chicken wrote and performed in a duo call ‘Paisley and Garfunkel’. The big song was “Freeway Over Troubled Waters” performed for the first time in public at an art exhibit of an Andy Warhol painting attended by the Broadway director Neil Simon.The song played was about the troubles […]
Teaching Others To Fly
It’s a scientific fact chickens can’t fly. They are classified as ‘flightless’ Chainsaw recognizes this fact. “It’s like fighting Murphy’s Law” said Chainsaw. With that in mind, Chainsaw had taken on the study of the ACME rocket company popularized in the roadrunner cartoons to develop a fully maneuverable, rocket propelled carriage for all flightless animals, […]
Chainsaw “Scalia-ized”
HE GOT THE SAME AS SCALIA!!! Chainsaw Chicken was found with multiple pillows on his face, reminiscent of the fate of Supreme Court Justice Scalia last weekend. His neighbor found him when Chainsaw would not answer his door. The police were called and without a visit from the coroner it was ruled that he went […]
Wish You Were Here
Having a nice vacation at the famous beach resort on the south shore of Aruba with his wife and good friend Ms T. Marmalay Chicken. The resort is like Sandals only this one is called ‘Thongs’. Security is tight now that it has been announced that ISIS will be attacking us all with their homemade […]
Undercover Baiter
No one knew about this deckhand named Lupi Chicken (once married to my grandmother’s youngest sister-in-law). He had been with the CIA since he was recruited right out of Fresno Community College. After he learned to speak with a Spanish accent and dyed his Jheri Curled hair he found himself working on a ‘company owned’ […]
Buckethead is my Cousin
Celebrates Headless Cuz
Have you ever seen a headless chicken walking around energetically? The incredible chicken who’s head has been cut off was still able to balance on a perch and move as steadily as any chickens with a head. It has attracted lots of attention from local residents, some people were so amazed and said that seeing […]
600M Slaughtered
While you were all celebrating the battle between the over-paid, over-medicated, pampered “warriors” playing a sport that the rest of the world plays with a rounded oblong ball… 600 Million of my relatives were butchered to please your craving for an easy piece of tasty meat to dip into your blue cheese dressing. As V. […]
Power Ranger Murderer
Skylar Deleon, of the Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers, was convicted on three counts of first-degree murder. Deleon was convicted of killing Tom Hawks and his wife Jackie after departing on a test run to sell their 55-ft. yacht, the “Well Deserved” (No Kidding). The deaths of the couple came from him tying them to an […]
Learning to French Kiss
Test subject For Lobotomy
After the Francis Farmer story that was so popularized in story and film, exploiting the horrific treatments of her lobotomy (which she never actually had), my friend and cousin, Daffy Chicken, set out to obtain the benefit from this procedure of a sub-orbital ice pick insertion. Since no one uses and ice pick anymore now […]
Chainsaw Paparazzi
One of Chainsaw’s later jobs started out as a ‘stringer’ for the Bumphuque, N.J. town paper and evolved into being a photographer for the county to document traffic fatalities. After weeks of taking photos of the gory, bloody, disgusting traffic deaths, a relatively large star came through town and stopped at the coffee shop Chainsaw […]
O.J. Hires Chainsaw
Remember when was O.J. was found not guilty for the slaughter of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman? Remember how he promised to continue the search for the REAL killer of these two people? Until his arrest in Las Vegas for unrelated charges, the “Juice” searched every PGA certified golf course around the country, but […]
Justin Bieber
Ever notice how the bad boy, ‘leave it to Bieber’, is always shirtless, showing off his mix of ‘tats’? Take a look just above those ladies panties he apparently likes to wear. Yup… It’s Chainsaw Chicken’s registered logo as well as Chainsaw’s likeness in color around his left aureola. My lawyer’s are being assembled and […]