Thanks to the LGBTQ movement and attention whores like him/her Bruce or Caitlyn Jenner (who to me is his own ‘movement’) The latest issue is the liberation of restrooms and the rights of this and that who can go into here or there and on and on… Without regard to the merit of this issue (or […]
Space Station Breach
‘Buzz’ (short for Buzzard) Chicken, nephew to my cousin. Glenn Chicken has been on the latest International Space Station orbiting Mars. He and another Astronaut from India named Curry Punjab have been on the space station for three years. Just the two of them. At least until the unfortunate accident last year when Curry electrocuted […]
Viral Internet Puzzle
Lately there has been a craze to find hidden objects in photos – much like a photo hunt puzzle. Do you remember the panda that started it all? You had to find the panda bear among the snowmen in this puzzle that went viral. There have been numerous puzzles like this popping up all over […]
‘Alaskan Bush People’
Say what? The famous “Alaskan Bush People” family dropped a shocking bombshell that has many wondering: Do the Browns have a secret daughter? Billy and Ami Brown caught viewers off-guard in the final seconds of the Season 4 preview. “30 years. We’ve heard nothing from her,” Billy said. “I’ve never forgotten her,” adds his wife, […]
CC to Replace Kelly Ripa
An Announcement that stunned the morning entertainment world was released today. Chainsaw Chicken witll be replacing Kelly Ripa on “Live”. The morning talk show was made famous by Regis Francis Xavier Philbin and Kathie Lee Gifford (1985-2000). A tantrum has been brewing between the current hosts, Kelly Ripa and Michael Strahan. Rather than giving into […]
Original Star Wars Cast
This is a publicity photo of the originally selected cast of Star Wars before primary shooting began. Chainsaw Chicken was the first selection to play Luke Skywalker. A contract dispute caused him to give up the part.
Proposal to Casey
Yes, the word is out and it is better to get in front of it. Chainsaw Chicken officially announces that he proposed to Casey Anthony. He did this soon after she assumed that he may be father of her current pregnancy Rumor flew around the last time she gave birth (probably from Chainsaw again) that […]
Love At First Sight
On the set of the new movie announced staring Pocatello Chicken, Chainsaw’s nephew whom is a struggling actor finally getting his break. In a scene from the first trailer released shows Jennifer Lopez seated on the street from an apparent chance collision with Pocatello Chicken and their eyes lock in instant love ( on screen, […]
Brighten The Day
Yes… Ritalin will brighten your day! It will be so bright that your brain will need extra-dark sunglasses!!! If you feel your ‘inner chicken’ needs brightened, ask your doctor for an adult size dose of Ritalin. You’re probably gonna have these Side Effects Addiction, (duh) Nervousness including agitation, AnXiEtY and irritability Trouble sleeping (when’s my […]
1st Bullet-Proof Vest
Cousin Markus ‘Bullseye’ Chicken was the first to test the creation of a bullet proof vest. The idea of being able to stop bullets were developed after the creation of some of the first super hero comic books, ‘Superman’. Imagine, someone that could resist bullets. Next was work on creating a means to ‘leap tall […]
My Secret Hero
Ever since I saw the movie ‘Bobbie Jo and the Outlaw’ (Watch the high speed copy) where Linda Carter ushers in her fine looking. Ah…career. Yeah, acting skills. Then came Wonder Woman. My heart was captured. If she wrapped me with her lariat of truth I would have to confess it in glowing pronouns. I […]
An AV Geek In School
Yes. Chainsaw remembers all the slurs and jokes heralded at him in high school about being an AV geek. He learned many things with regard to being a projectionist. Football and basketball jocks were the usual ones laughing and pointing fingers. Say what you will but Chainsaw left high school with a marketable skill. A […]
Ho Hum, Nothing To Wear
After I heard that Kim Kardashian was complaining that she had nothing to wear, and that an image posted was nearly bringing down the internet, I felt it was my job to step in. Just as she was taking this subsequent image I was about to suggest a few ideas for her but I had […]
Uber ‘Lite”
Leave it up to Chainsaw to add a twist to anything he gets involved with. He signed up with Uber to be a driver but he is doing it with his motor cycle. That’s why he calls it Uber ‘Lite’. He charges less and gets you there faster zipping in and out of traffic. He […]
Squeeze Tube Inventor
This is Edward Scozillia Chicken, a friend of the family, back in 1935. Yes, he developed the concept of the squeezable tube used by medicine and over the counter product manufacturers around the world. His family was very wealthy until the Colgate conglomerate cheated him out of his patent. He liked to play cards while […]
Evolution Is In The News
Back in the news is the new evidence of evolution within the scientific community with the discovery of a prehistoric Great Ape that has become identified. Found in the jungles of Borneo, this mummified carcass of an unknown offshoot species supports that my relatives evolved from apes. Many called this the ‘Missing Link’ that finally […]
I’ll UnFriend Them!
I had what I thought was a good friend put this up on my Facebook page. I am highly offended by this cartoon obviously directed and targeted at me. Take a look. How can it NOT be about me? Well, I unfriended them right away and all the hundreds that liked it. That doesn’t leave […]
Winner! Winner!
I am sick and tired of this over-used expression at sales meeting and recruiting offices around the English-speaking world. This is as bad as banquet dinners serving “Winner Winner Chicken Dinner”. C’mon, man! Rosemary’s REAL Baby
Free Clinic Dr. Returns
Doctor DeBakie Chicken learned that his mail order degree from a Caribbean University is adequate to conduct medical exams at the Free Clinic. A celebration was held at the clinic and office had to double book appointments with the news. So a second bed was wheeled in to each exam room and he started doing […]
Free Clinic Dr. Arrested
Police arrested Doctor DeBakie Chicken when it is was learned that he was in fact working with a mail order degree from a Caribbean University. DeBakie was offering free gynecological visits and exams at this clinic. Critics sited that in the 4 years he has practiced he has never treated a single patient, he would […]